March 17, 2025
Fantasy Fight Club: The Flash vs. Roadrunner
Are you ready to rumble? This week’s headline fight has two of the fastest folks in fantasy put head-to-head, or rather, head-to-beak. That’s because this week, we have something a little more cartoony, something a little more looney-toons.
Standing at 6’1” and 175 lbs, we have The Flash, or when he’s investigating the latest crime scene, Barry Allen. He has various speed-related powers, such as super speed, incredibly quick thinking, and even the ability to vibrate fast enough to pass through matter. While this does make him a rather formidable opponent, his challenger has been known to outwit many a foe.
Now, in the blue corner, we have an absolute icon of speed, smarts, and silliness. Beep! Beep! It’s the Roadrunner! Now, you may be wondering, shouldn’t this bird be foiling a coyote’s plan somewhere? Don’t worry, he did, and then he zoomed so fast he tore a hole in the fabric of space and time and ended up here.
While this lone bird may be powerless, it always seems that any plans to do it harm backfire in some way. This is exactly what happened to The Flash as he attempted to take on this devious bird. He first attempted to simply rush the bird, but it dashed out of the way. Barry attempted to back it into a corner, and it escaped between his legs. As The Flash stood there, panting and out of breath, he tried to think of a more clever solution, and then it hit him. He’s probably faster than this bird.
He started to run circles around the ring, trapping the bird, but then the outside of his foot landed on a stray feather causing him to slip, fall, and hit his head. He was unconscious the second he hit the mat. Our victor of today’s battle is the Roadrunner!