For the romantics among us who like to read reviews before we shop….
The Book Bachelor: Clifford the Big Red Dog
What’s black and white and red all over? The face of love! It’s a classic tale: You’ve known each other since you were young. He was kind of a runt, but you didn’t let that slow you down. For a while, you were even worried he’d outgrow you, but the only thing that grew was your bond.Who knew that a little love could make a puppy grow to 25 feet tall? Not your parents, or they’d never have let you bring him home.
Okay, but he’s your best friend! You can’t date your best friend … can you? Fear not. We’re here to help you size him up.
Dependability:
He may not have thumbs, and he’s a little clumsy besides, but he’ll always help you reach those high shelves when you need him. ★★★★☆
Affection:
He’s practically made of the stuff. Being a dog doesn’t hurt. ★★★★★
Cuddlability:
In theory, having a dog the size of a house sounds like a dream come true, but in practice, it makes him a little tough to hug. And don’t even get me started on the shedding. ★★★★☆
Charisma:
All dogs are born with charisma pumping through their veins. It’s their Darwinian strength, like wings on birds or opposable thumbs. The scientific name for dogs is charismus familiaris. ★★★★★
Funness of dates:
I hope you like fetch. Really like fetch. ★★★★☆
Listening/communication skills:
Clifford communicates to great effect with his dog pals. Humans might have a tougher time understanding him, however. ★★★★☆
Regular intelligence:
Listen, he’s trying his best. ★★★☆☆
Coolness:
Actually, this dog is kind of a square. ★★☆☆☆
Overall:.
He’s a little bit boring, but he’s sweet … and he’s so, so loyal. ★★★★☆
—Kana Coonce, Bachelor Editor
Image: Blingee shareable image by Clifford x Bailey.