March 31, 2022
You’ve reached the place where all the bad, but oh so satisfying, entertainment exists. Here, in the Trash Vortex, we exist to provide you with only the trashiest, most bingeworthy recommendations. It’s a dark hole you won’t escape.
Disney Channel Originals
There is nothing more nostalgic for millennials and Gen Z than the Disney Channel original movies (maybe it’s just me). I’m referring to the ’90s and early 2000s movies that featured questionable plot holes, outrageous situations, and happy resolutions. Here are only a couple of the classics.
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century takes place in the year 2049 where we meet Zenon Carr, a spunky 13- year-old living in space. Life is good on the space station until she finds herself in trouble, and her parents send her to live on Earth. This is Zenon’s worst nightmare. She must mitigate a phobia-prone aunt and the savageness of middle school on planet Earth. If this isn’t enough of a crisis, Zenon soon discovers an evildoer plans to crash the space station. She must get back to space to save her home AND not miss her favorite pop group’s first space performance. The stakes are high, apparently. You won’t want to miss how the action unfolds. Available to stream on Disney+.
The kids of Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire are in a pickle. Adam and Chelsea Hansen, brother-sister duo, have plans for a fun evening, but they’re grounded. Adam can’t possibly miss his concert, and Chelsea finds her boyfriend too dreamy to bail on their date. As fate would have it, their mom has a date on that same night. It would all be perfect, except their little brother uncovers that mom’s date is really a vampire. The new mission of the night turns into saving Mom Hansen from the undead! Enter the vampire hunter. This movie is advertised as a horror-comedy; there’s not much spook, but plenty of laugh-worthy scenes in all its ridiculousness. Available to stream on Disney+.
—Shannon Ribich, Trash Vortex Editor