The Driftwood #45: Music Reviews (Part 1)

French Kiwi Juice (FKJ)

FKJThe French multi-instrumentalist, Vincent Fenton, performs under his musical project under the name French Kiwi Juice or FKJ. This incredible DJ shows his musical abilities during the live sets that are available to watch on YouTube. A video titled “Tadow” features artist Masego performing in a music studio. When I first saw that this video has 481 million views on YouTube, I realized why when I saw FKJ jump from playing the electric guitar to a saxophone to a keyboard and synthesizer, while Masego also played the same instruments in addition to the drums. The musical abilities that are presented by this collaboration are mind-blowing as the two of them are also extraordinary vocalists.

FKJ is an accomplished artist who has also released three studio albums, including the self-titled album French Kiwi Juice (2017) that contains many genres such as the newest genre, “French House Music.” Listen to FKJ on any music platform, preferably YouTube to witness his amazing originality

—Kayu Brooks, Music Editor

The Driftwood #45: Anime Picks

Space Dandy
Space Dandy posterSpace Dandy is a hard show to describe because each episode is so wildly different and unique. It’s meant to be a crew of three going around the galaxy looking for unidentified aliens to bring to the Space Alien Registration Center for a cash reward, though they rarely succeed. In one episode, they participate in a race in space; in another, Dandy goes fishing for a giant sea creature; in another he starts a band; in another he attends a high school where everyone is constantly singing. There appears to be no continuity between episodes; sometimes everyone dies at the end of an episode, and then in the next episode, it’s as if nothing happened.

There are a few things that make this show so special and underrated. First, the humor is good; the show is silly and amusing and just good fun. Second, several episodes have beautiful stylized visuals. Third, the stories range from funny and absurd to beautiful and meaningful. This show is completely unpredictable, as if there were too many writers working on the show, but they were all so skilled, they made it work.

My only complaints about the show are the ending and the last few episodes, where it seems they may have run out of budget/time due to making all the other episodes so good. The action scenes are highly animated, which couldn’t have been cheap. But my biggest complaint is that there isn’t a season two after a decade. This show is categorized as a “comedy space opera”whatever that meansand I recommend it to anyone who likes good, sometimes raunchy, comedy and/or amazing visuals.
—Gage Wilson, Anime Editor 

The Driftwood #45: Bingeable TV

The Great British Bake-Off
Great British Bake-Off posterThe television series The Great British Bake Off, or GBBO, is a famous baking competition that features the notable pastry chefs Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith as the two primary judges. Although there have been quite a few hosts throughout the 14 seasons, Noel Fielding has been the most quirky and memorable host. Each season, also referred to as a “collection,” begins with an average of 12 eager participants that are baking their hearts out for the most desired trophy in the baking world: the engraved glass cake stand that contains the GBBO logo. Each episode is 60 minutes and consists of three challenges: the first is the “Signature Challenge,” which showcases each baker’s knowledge and personal experience from baking for others at home. The second is the “Technical Challenge,” where each recipe is selected by Judge Paul or Judge Prue and either may have consistent baking instructions or something as vague as “bake” as the final step without providing any further detail. The final challenge is the “Showstopper,” which is almost always given the most amount of time to complete their baking project, as there are many steps and requirements during this final assignment.

Each episode, a participant is chosen to be the “Star Baker,” or the most creative baker of the week, and the least successful baker is eliminated. One of the most significant aspects of the GBBO are the weekly themes; for example, there is “bread week,” “cake week,” and my favorite: “pastry week.” As a viewer watches each collection, I guarantee they will see the themes and find a personal favorite; mine is determined by the authenticity of each participant as they face recipes they’ve never seen before and their determination to take on the challenge. Watch as the bakers participate and thrive or grow through the exciting recipes that are presented in each episode. Cheer for your favorite baker while they face the pressure of things like a oven that’s too hot, weak buttercream frosting that causes their cake towers to crumble, or as their projects fatally fall to the floor. The drama will keep any viewer entertained while listening to the twinkly theme song. Available on Netflix.
—Kayu Brooks, TV Editor

The Driftwood #45: Movie Recs

Zac Efron Movies

Best known for capturing the hearts of the little girls of Gen Z with his role as Troy Bolton in the High School Musical movies, Zac Efron is a household name. Since his Disney Channel days, he has expanded his boundaries by taking on roles in films of all types of genres. Starting his career with his first movie premiering in 2006 and his latest having been released in March of the current year, he has stayed busy and appeared in 43 films to date.

The Greatest Showman
The Greatest Showman posterA movie musical that can be enjoyed by the whole family, The Greatest Showman is an enduring story about found family and what is most important in life. P.T. Barnum grew up on the street, poor and doing anything he could to get by. At a young age, he meets and falls in love with Charity, who is way above his station in life. He eventually marries her, much to her father’s dismay, and they start a life together. With two children to feed and bills to pay, they have to find a way to make money fast, which leads P.T. to purchase a run-down building that he intends to turn into one of the world’s first circuses. He is successful in his endeavors, gathering people to be in the show such as a bearded lady and a pair of twins who perform on the trapeze among many others.

Unfortunately, the success draws the attention of critics who happen to leave bad reviews for the show causing fewer people to come to the circus. With no other way to fund the show, P.T. decides to pair up with nepotism baby Phillip Carlyle, played by Zac Efron, to keep the show going. With the circus growing, P.T. has to balance both his business and his family, which both suffer when singer Jenny Lind appears and inspires him to go on tour with her. All the while the people working for the circus try to gain acceptance and his family wonders when he will finally be home. Will the circus stay afloat and will P.T. Barnum be able to save his family before too much damage is done? Available to watch on Disney+, Google Play, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, and Vile
Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault


Extremely Wicked posterBased on the Ted Bundy murders, this true-crime film provides a new perspective on the events that took place to put the killer behind bars. The story is told from the perspective of Liz Kendall, the woman who was with Bundy (who is played by Efron) during the time of the killings. It depicts her struggles with wanting to believe the man she loves but needing to believe the evidence. She tries to stay loyal to him, and it drives her to unhealthy coping methods and makes her suffer in other parts of her life. As she tries to rationalize what is happening, Bundy is being accused of more and more crimes, and he is running out of lies. What will happen to Liz, and will she ever be able to recover from Bundy’s manipulation? Available to watch on Netflix.

—Payton Rhyner, Movies Editor

The Driftwood #44: The Trash Vortex (April Fools’ Edition)

You’ve reached the place where all the bad, but oh-so-satisfying entertainment exists. Here, in the Trash Vortex, we provide you with only the trashiest, most bingeworthy recommendations. It’s a dark hole you won’t escape!

“We Have that Movie at Home”: The Worst of the Worst

When pressed about what to include in this particular issue, I was lost. Is it simply enough to include straight-up trash? Should we include movies that are actually … good? Heaven forbid. What’s more interesting are the films that afterward, the biggest April Fools’ prank was bothering to see them at all. The difference between our usual Trash Vortex picks and these films is the difference between fast food, let’s say, and chugging boiling fryer oil or diving headfirst into an ice-cold rivera test of endurance rather than anything potentially enjoyable.

Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)

Godzilla posterRecent entries to the Godzilla franchise, like 2023’s Minus Zero, give the impression that it can’t and shouldn’t veer into extravagant, over-the-top blockbuster schlock. This ignores the fact that some 33 Toho movies and the appeal of watching a giant lizard punch another giant lizard do not an introspective movie make. This specificallythe 50th-anniversary filmfocuses on celebrating everything the franchise has built up regardless of narrative and emotional whiplash because, dang it, this is for the fans.

It’s about the rubber suits, the hordes of iconic kaiju, and, frankly put, insane storylines involving alien invaders, mutants, Godzilla’s son, and an overabundance of the letter because it’s cool, bro.

The Last Airbender (2010)

The Last Airbender posterThe key to a good April Fools’ prank is breaking a set expectation: turn a corner straight into a Saran-wrapped doorway, insert a “Gotcha!” note inside an empty iPhone case, and so on.

Maybe that’s what Nickelodeon was intending when they made this movie.

Live-action adaptations aren’t new, nor is it surprising when they’re bad. It arguably comes with the territory; stilted dialogue and underacting, bad CGI, the works. It’s just that the original show of the same name is such a landmark in children’s entertainment and storytelling that the film’s missteps stick out all the more. Most egregious of these is its whitewashing of the original’s Asian-led cast and comprising the antagonistic Fire Nation of dark-skinned South Asians.

It’s a film that, the more one’s familiar with the original source material, only serves to make the viewer ever angrier—angry with the lack of cultural sensitivity, and angry that potential fans might conflate the film’s quality to the original and never give the show a chance.

The original anime, Avatar: The Last Airbender, is currently on Netflix. This terrible 2010 film is streaming for free on Sling TV, MGM+. and Paramount+ (still too much money). And Netflix came out with a live-action version earlier this year that has excellent reviews and has been renewed for seasons two and three. 

—Sasha Bouyear, Trash Vortex Editor

The Driftwood #44: Podcast Picks (April Fools’ Edition)

Hot and Bothered Podcast
Live from Pemberley iconHave you taken one of Prof. Rysavy’s literature classes, and you’re hungry for more details about Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, or early 19th-century literature in general? Then get thee to your favorite podcast app and download the Hot and Bothered podcast. In season three, “On Eyre,” hosts Vanessa Zoltan and Lauren Sandler go chapter by chapter through Bronte’s Jane Eyre, ending each episode with an expert scholar who takes them through a particular element or nuance from the book, like madness in the 19th century or the Victorian “science” of phrenology (reading someone’s personality through the bumps on their skull). Season four, “Live from Pemberley,” does the same thing with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Each episode is a literary nerd’s delight.

If you’re one of the poor, lost souls who doesn’t read Austen or Bronte (thoughts and prayers), you might enjoy season two, “Twilight in Quarantine,” in which Vanessa is joined by Julia Argy to break down the entire Twilight book series by Stephenie Meyer. And seasons one and five are dedicated to the romance genre: season one doles out advice on writing romance, and season five (currently in progress) features Vanessa with Hannah McGregor talking about a different romantic-comedy film every episode.

—Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, Driftwood Advisor

The Driftwood #44: Video Games (April Fools’ Edition)

Palworld (Early Access)
Palworld imageThis is the game commonly referred to as “Pokemon with guns,” the same game that generated a tsunami of attention upon its release. Released into early access on January 19, 2024, “Palworld sold over one million copies in its first eight hours of early access on January 19, 2024, which rose to two million copies within the first 24 hours, three million copies within the first 40 hours, five million copies by day 3, six million by day 4, seven million by day 5, and eight million by day 6. On January 24, 2024, it reached over 2,000,000 concurrent players on Steam” (Pocketpair Inc.). It was an unprecedented event in video game history.

After nearly 50 hours into this monumental game, all I can say about it is “meh.” The world is empty, the crafting and base-building are very basic, and it all requires a tedious amount of grinding. Traversing a barren world to gather materials or level up is not saved by the fact that I’m riding a cartoon dragon. I like the pals, both their variety and utilization within the game, but that enjoyment probably only lasted 30 hours before the gameplay became all about the grind. The experience probably would have been more enjoyable if I was playing with friends, but I don’t think it would save the gameplay. If you haven’t purchased the game already, I recommend waiting until there’s significant progress in development. The game is expected to fully release next year, but I have a feeling it won’t; I suspect they’ll delay full release so they can continue to add to the game now that they have the money to do so from early access sales. Available on Xbox One, Xbox Series X and Series S, and Steam. 
—Gage Wilson, Anime Editor

The Driftwood #44: The Book Bachelor (April Fools’ Edition)

For the romantics among us who like to read reviews before we shop….

The Book Bachelor: Clifford the Big Red Dog

Clifford sparkly imageWhat’s black and white and red all over? The face of love! It’s a classic tale: You’ve known each other since you were young. He was kind of a runt, but you didn’t let that slow you down. For a while, you were even worried he’d outgrow you, but the only thing that grew was your bond.

Who knew that a little love could make a puppy grow to 25 feet tall? Not your parents, or they’d never have let you bring him home.

Okay, but he’s your best friend! You can’t date your best friend … can you? Fear not. We’re here to help you size him up.

Dependability:
He may not have thumbs, and he’s a little clumsy besides, but he’ll always help you reach those high shelves when you need him. ★★★★☆

Affection:
He’s practically made of the stuff. Being a dog doesn’t hurt. ★★★★★

Cuddlability:
In theory, having a dog the size of a house sounds like a dream come true, but in practice, it makes him a little tough to hug. And don’t even get me started on the shedding. ★★★★☆

Charisma:
All dogs are born with charisma pumping through their veins. It’s their Darwinian strength, like wings on birds or opposable thumbs. The scientific name for dogs is charismus familiaris. ★★★★★

Funness of dates:
I hope you like fetch. Really like fetch. ★★★★☆

Listening/communication skills:
Clifford communicates to great effect with his dog pals. Humans might have a tougher time understanding him, however. ★★★★☆

Regular intelligence:
Listen, he’s trying his best. ★★★☆☆

Coolness:
Actually, this dog is kind of a square. ★★☆☆☆

Overall:.
He’s a little bit boring, but he’s sweet … and he’s so, so loyal. ★★★★☆
—Kana Coonce, Bachelor Editor
Image: Blingee shareable image by Clifford x Bailey. 

The Driftwood #44: Recommended Reads (April Fools’ Edition)

Terrible Romances
It Ends with Us
by Colleen Hoover

Trigger warnings: abuse and domestic violence

It Ends with UsThe first offense of this book is that the main character’s name is Lily Bloom. Yes, Lily Bloom. It sounds like a porn star or stripper name. Yet Colleen Hoover is something of an inspiration. She proves one does not need talent to crawl to the top of the bestseller list. Romance is a chemical that is caused by physical attraction and finding some characteristics about that person to be entrancing. Now, if an author wants a character to be exciting, they’ll make a man who is so bad but who does it so well, or they make him a billionaire or a vampire. However, Hoover has wandered down the path of just flat-out abuse. Ryle, the main love interest, is blatantly abusive to Lily. Like, he actually beats her head into concrete.

Now, to be fair, Lily did grow up in a bad environment. However, the story isn’t one of inspiration nor overcoming abuse, nor is it diving into themes of how abuse victims often are repeating childhood cycles. No, it’s portrayed as a hot and heavy love story. Once after Ryle gets done beating up Lily he literally says: “Your hair is as red as your lips.” And then they have a steamy make-up sex scene.

Oh. My. God.
The bottom line is no one can make abuse seem sexy. Not even Colleen Hoover.

Reminders of HIm
by Colleen Hoover

Trigger warnings: mentions of substance abuse, prison, and poverty.

book coverThe main character of the love interest in this book is named Legerd Ward. The only good thing about this book is that at least she didn’t describe a baby’s private parts in vivid detail (yes, she actually did this in a book for some reason). It is also very hilarious that Kenna Rowan, the other main character, had a very difficult life riddled with substance abuse and trauma. Furthermore, she is a single mother to a four-year-old, and the father is in prison. Now, what’s funny about this is that Hoover writes about this at a distance. It’s evident by the lack of detail that Hoover never experienced anything like that and is doing poorly at trying to describe a life with substance abuse and prison.

Furthermore, Kenna’s four-year-old daughter is impossibly well-behaved for a preschool child. She cleans up after herself and never talks back. This can take you right out of the book if you have children or deal with children on a regular basis.

 

Bottom line is this book feels like someone from the 21st century attempting to describe life in the 18th century. It feels very disconnected.

—Jalaine Olks, Books Editor

And in the spirit of giving you something decent to read, Kelsey has a good book she actually recommends: 

They Both Die at the End
by Adam Silvera

Trigger warning: Death, parent death, past trauma, alienation, violence

book coverWhat would you do if you learned you had 24 hours to live? Would you download an app to develop one last relationship before your inevitable death? That’s what Rufus and Mateo decide. Together, they live their last day together, venturing into a world that they believed was far out of their reach, before they knew they’d be dead by morning. This book is filled with little adventures, romance, and sadness.

—Kelsey Vanderpool

The Driftwood #44: Music Reviews (April Fools’ Edition, Pt. 2)

Rock Mockumentary: This is Spinal Tap II

Spinal TapIt’s been decades since the iconic mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap rocked our worlds, and now the long-awaited sequel is in the works to crank the volume up to 11 once again. This Is Spinal Tap II will take us on another uproarious journey into the absurdities of the rock ‘n’ roll world, with all the wit, satire, and hilarious mishaps we’ve come to love. As of yet, there has been no release date announced, but filming began in March of this year.

Director and co-writer of the original film Christopher Guest is returning to the cast with his signature dry humor and keen eye for parody, and he’ll undoubtedly deliver a film that not only pays homage to its predecessor but also stands on its own as a riotous comedy. The original cast, including Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer, brought to life the beloved members of the fictional band Spinal Tap with impeccable comedic timing, and they’re set to do so again in the sequel. Hollywood icon Rob Reiner is directing and also penning the script. 

In this installment, we find the aging rockers facing new challenges in the ever-changing landscape of the music industry. From navigating the pitfalls of social media to attempting a comeback tour that’s more chaotic than triumphant, Spinal Tap needs to prove that while they may be past their prime, they’re still masters of comedic chaos.

This Is Spinal Tap II looks like it will be a worthy follow-up to the cult classic original, serving up laughs, satire, and rock ‘n’ roll mayhem in equal measure. With its stellar cast and infectious energy, this sequel is sure to prove that you can’t keep Spinal Tap downthey’ll keep rocking and rolling until the end of time.

—Ginger Knauer