“We Have that Movie at Home”: The Worst of the Worst
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)
Recent entries to the Godzilla franchise, like 2023’s Minus Zero, give the impression that it can’t and shouldn’t veer into extravagant, over-the-top blockbuster schlock. This ignores the fact that some 33 Toho movies and the appeal of watching a giant lizard punch another giant lizard do not an introspective movie make. This specifically—the 50th-anniversary film—focuses on celebrating everything the franchise has built up regardless of narrative and emotional whiplash because, dang it, this is for the fans.It’s about the rubber suits, the hordes of iconic kaiju, and, frankly put, insane storylines involving alien invaders, mutants, Godzilla’s son, and an overabundance of the letter because it’s cool, bro.
The Last Airbender (2010)
The key to a good April Fools’ prank is breaking a set expectation: turn a corner straight into a Saran-wrapped doorway, insert a “Gotcha!” note inside an empty iPhone case, and so on.
Maybe that’s what Nickelodeon was intending when they made this movie.
Live-action adaptations aren’t new, nor is it surprising when they’re bad. It arguably comes with the territory; stilted dialogue and underacting, bad CGI, the works. It’s just that the original show of the same name is such a landmark in children’s entertainment and storytelling that the film’s missteps stick out all the more. Most egregious of these is its whitewashing of the original’s Asian-led cast and comprising the antagonistic Fire Nation of dark-skinned South Asians.
It’s a film that, the more one’s familiar with the original source material, only serves to make the viewer ever angrier—angry with the lack of cultural sensitivity, and angry that potential fans might conflate the film’s quality to the original and never give the show a chance.
The original anime, Avatar: The Last Airbender, is currently on Netflix. This terrible 2010 film is streaming for free on Sling TV, MGM+. and Paramount+ (still too much money). And Netflix came out with a live-action version earlier this year that has excellent reviews and has been renewed for seasons two and three.
Have you taken one of Prof. Rysavy’s literature classes, and you’re hungry for more details about Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, or early 19th-century literature in general? Then get thee to your favorite podcast app and download the Hot and Bothered podcast. In season three, “On Eyre,” hosts Vanessa Zoltan and Lauren Sandler go chapter by chapter through Bronte’s Jane Eyre, ending each episode with an expert scholar who takes them through a particular element or nuance from the book, like madness in the 19th century or the Victorian “science” of phrenology (reading someone’s personality through the bumps on their skull). Season four, “Live from Pemberley,” does the same thing with Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Each episode is a literary nerd’s delight.
This is the game commonly referred to as “Pokemon with guns,” the same game that generated a tsunami of attention upon its release. Released into early access on January 19, 2024, “Palworld sold over one million copies in its first eight hours of early access on January 19, 2024, which rose to two million copies within the first 24 hours, three million copies within the first 40 hours, five million copies by day 3, six million by day 4, seven million by day 5, and eight million by day 6. On January 24, 2024, it reached over 2,000,000 concurrent players on Steam” (Pocketpair Inc.). It was an unprecedented event in video game history.
What’s black and white and red all over? The face of love! It’s a classic tale: You’ve known each other since you were young. He was kind of a runt, but you didn’t let that slow you down. For a while, you were even worried he’d outgrow you, but the only thing that grew was your bond.
The first offense of this book is that the main character’s name is Lily Bloom. Yes, Lily Bloom. It sounds like a porn star or stripper name. Yet Colleen Hoover is something of an inspiration. She proves one does not need talent to crawl to the top of the bestseller list. Romance is a chemical that is caused by physical attraction and finding some characteristics about that person to be entrancing. Now, if an author wants a character to be exciting, they’ll make a man who is so bad but who does it so well, or they make him a billionaire or a vampire. However, Hoover has wandered down the path of just flat-out abuse. Ryle, the main love interest, is blatantly abusive to Lily. Like, he actually beats her head into concrete.
The main character of the love interest in this book is named Legerd Ward. The only good thing about this book is that at least she didn’t describe a baby’s private parts in vivid detail (yes, she actually did this in a book for some reason). It is also very hilarious that Kenna Rowan, the other main character, had a very difficult life riddled with substance abuse and trauma. Furthermore, she is a single mother to a four-year-old, and the father is in prison. Now, what’s funny about this is that Hoover writes about this at a distance. It’s evident by the lack of detail that Hoover never experienced anything like that and is doing poorly at trying to describe a life with substance abuse and prison.
What would you do if you learned you had 24 hours to live? Would you download an app to develop one last relationship before your inevitable death? That’s what Rufus and Mateo decide. Together, they live their last day together, venturing into a world that they believed was far out of their reach, before they knew they’d be dead by morning. This book is filled with little adventures, romance, and sadness.
It’s been decades since the iconic mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap rocked our worlds, and now the long-awaited sequel is in the works to crank the volume up to 11 once again. This Is Spinal Tap II will take us on another uproarious journey into the absurdities of the rock ‘n’ roll world, with all the wit, satire, and hilarious mishaps we’ve come to love. As of yet, there has been no release date announced, but filming began in March of this year.
Looking for an artist who provides music that is “the best of both worlds,” with good meoldies by a popular TV personality? Look no further than the remarkable Hannah Montana, who has been influencing teens since 2006. Although there are other albums with far more Grammys, Hannah Montana should have won them all.
While Ghost Stories was originally a show adapting Japanese folklore into a format for young teens, the English dub allowed wild ad-libbing from the cast. It was the early 2000s, and South Park’s dark and politically incorrect humor was generating a cultural wave. It’s fair to assume South Park is largely what inspired the voice actors of Ghost Stories. The dialogue of Ghost Stories becomes a steady stream of unpredictable verbal chaos. The characters randomly bring up Western politicians and celebrities, and every episode includes crude humor that would never be allowed in a show aimed at a younger audience, but none of this is to the degree of early South Park. This anime is famous for the ad-libbing done by the cast. It isn’t far into the first episode before it becomes apparent that something is odd, but that instance alone does not prepare the audience for the insanity that is to come. It’s crude and dark, too crude and dark to quote. Most of all, it’s amusing. No summary could do justice for this show. If any of this sounds interesting, I recommend watching the first episode, or, at the very least, watching a YouTube video of highlights from the show.
Looking to take the next step in your life to find your one true soulmate? Are you ready to settle down and be in a committed, loving, trustworthy relationship with the spouse of your dreams? Take notes from the many single adults who are featured in Love is Blind, as their
In this movie, which should probably be considered the best movie musical ever, we are introduced to cats of all kinds. The main character Victoria is dumped by her family and left in the street, where she is found by a tribe of street cats called Jellicle cats. Every year on the night of the Jellicle Moon, the cats go to the Jellicle ball so they can compete to be chosen by their leader, Old Deuteronomy, to be the Jellicle choice (I’m pretty sure the word “Jellicle” is half the script in this movie). The cats compete to be the Jellicle choice because they believe it is the only way to get to cat heaven, or as they call it, the Heaviside Layer, where they will be given new life. We learn about the indecisive Rum Tum Tugger, outcast Grizella, evil Mccavity, and (the obvious choice because he’s played by James Corden) gluttonous Bustopher Jones, among many others. Chalk full of song and dance, this movie is sure to keep you entertained and make you love both cats and musicals if you don’t already. Who will be the Jellicle choice? Why did James Corden not win an Oscar for his performance in this movie? Available to watch on Netflix, Google Play, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.
In one of the most incredible animated movies Hollywood has ever seen, Gene the “Meh” emoji must go on an epic quest across the interworkings of the phone he lives in to fix his broken code. As an emoji, he should only be able to make one face, but for some reason, he can make all the different faces he wants. This is a problem because he isn’t able to make the right face and therefore can’t do his job and is at risk of being deleted if he can’t get the problem fixed. He is accompanied by his best friend, Hi-5, who is played by none other than James Corden, and the hacker Jailbreak. Together they travel from app to app in hopes of editing Gene’s code, and they end up finding out their whole phone’s system is in trouble! They have no choice but to try to fix the problem before their whole world is shut off forever. Will they ever be able to fix Gene’s code? Will their whole world be lost forever when their phone gets shut down? Available on Tubi, Google Play, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime.