Today was the day that I had been most excited about, and at the same time most anxious about – Lecturing to 250 people. That being said – today was AMAZING! Being able to lecture to an intro class (even if it was only for a couple minutes), answering questions, interacting with the class, I loved all of it! I was quite nervous beforehand… especially when practicing last night. In fact lecturing to my desk, and thinking about having to lecture in front of 250 people definitely induced an asthma attack last night which resulted in an inhaler break from my practicing. I think having that practicing and the susequent reaction the night before bruised my confidence going into things, if I had to do it again I would probably be better off just typing up my notes and not rehearsing. Once I got up to the podium the nerves faded quickly. I’ve been trying to lay off the over-preparedness, but it was difficult to restrain with the importance I put on today.
After the lecture I walked to have lunch with a friend I don’t think the smile could have been slapped off my face. I had such an amazing time up there lecturing. I felt like I fit in the position well. I’m also really glad I chose not to use the mic; for me, just looking at the mic made me nervous – especially after seeing all the technical difficulties over the whole semester and immediately before I got up there. Also this afternoon once I got to the commons to meet my friend, I saw a student from class and he said, “Hey, great job today!” Which only added to the rush I already had from today. I’m more sure than I have been all semester that I would really enjoy being a professor someday.
I would say today went a million times better than expected, and was a perfect addition to my literature review that I’ve been working on for the semester. Coincidentally I finished my paper on undergraduate TAs last night as well. I didn’t know how valuable of an experience being a TA was until I experienced this whole semester. And now with less two weeks left, and the mini-lecture done, my paper done, it’s a little bitter sweet. I’ve become so involved with being a TA this semester, learned so much, and grown immensely as a student, and also become so interested in my research – I kind of don’t want it to end…