Summer Edition
You’ve reached the place where all the bad, but oh-so-satisfying entertainment exists. Here, in the Trash Vortex, we provide you with only the trashiest, most bingeworthy recommendations. It’s a dark hole you won’t escape!
Trashy Series
Try a so-bad-it’s amazing TV series for those rainy summer days when you don’t want to be outside.Hemlock Grove
Hemlock Grove is peak trash. Between the melodramatic plotlines, the hammy acting from otherwise talented actors, and the unintentional (until it isn’t) homoeroticism between the two leads, Hemlock Grove is a very bad, very enjoyable show. Following Peter Rumancek, a Romani teen whose family has just moved to a new town (the eponymous Hemlock Grove, Pennsylvania), Hemlock Grove feels like producer Eli Roth’s response to the mid-2000s teen vampire craze. Oh, that’s right: Peter is a werewolf. And Hemlock Grove is a town inhabited by monsters—including the morose teen vampire Roman Godfrey, played by a Bill Skarsgaard who hasn’t quite perfected his American accent yet.As a Netflix original, the production value of this show almost manages to trick you into thinking it’s good. Don’t be fooled. Hemlock Grove is a show that thinks it’s deep, introduces some promising concepts, and then gets lost in the woods on its way to deliver the punchline. And yet? With its lush scenery and lingering cinematography, it so effectively creates a foreboding atmosphere that you’re hooked from the jump. Available free on Tubi.
—Kana Coonce, Trash Vortex Editor
Vanderpump Rules
A few years ago, my youngest brother demanded that I watch former Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Lisa Vanderpump’s reality show Vanderpump Rules, so we could talk about it. I caved and gave it a try, and the result was a summertime catchup binge the likes of which has never occurred in my household before or since. It’s the trashiest good time, and the current season is far and away the most dramatic and addictive of them all. Vanderpump follows a handful of young, good-looking would-be actors and actresses who start out the series waiting tables or bartending at Lisa’s flagship restaurant SUR (which stands for Sexy Urban Restaurant). The staff takes workplace fraternization to another level, constantly dating and dramatically breaking up with each other, slinging drinks in various coworkers’ faces, and occasionally threatening to set one another on fire. What makes it all bearable is the genuine care and love the cast seems to feel for each other, even amid the frequent petty feuds. As the world went into lockdown in 2020, the Vanderpump drama slowed waaaay down, with the cast throwing mild-mannered house parties in quarantine and having real-estate adventures. I thought I might have to give up the show. I mean, if I wanted to watch someone milk drama out of home-repair challenges, I’d film myself. But the 2023 season came roaring back with a vengeance when longtime Vanderpump couple Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix split after Tom cheated with pageant queen Raquel Leviss and tried to gaslight Ariana into thinking it was all her fault. Her friends circled the wagons around her, with lots of shouting and finger-stabbing at Tom, and Ariana used the breakup to reinvent her life. In the wake of “Scandoval,” Tom has been left getting booed at his tragically off-key band’s So-Cal concerts, while Ariana has booked gigs on Dancing with the Stars and a Lifetime movie called Buying Back My Daughter, in addition to accepting an invitation to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It’s a well-deserved karma boomerang coupled with an inspiring you-go-girl arc that has me riveted.Yes, my weekdays are spent reading and teaching literature, but Wednesday nights are my time to decompress, turn my brain off, and watch someone else’s drama. If you need something mindless this summer, Vanderpump Rules will be just what you ordered. All seasons streaming on Peacock, with new episodes airing weekly on Bravo.
—Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, Driftwood Advisor
Not to be dramatic, but this game changed my life. Set in a supposedly cursed castle and spanning hundreds of years, The House in Fata Morgana begins as an anthology of sorts. Upon the unnamed protagonist’s arrival in the run-down castle, they are greeted by a woman who introduces herself only as “The Maid,” who regales them with tales of the castle’s past in an attempt to jog their memory. These tales are grim, gory, and always revolve around the same white-haired girl, who endures tragedy lifetime after lifetime with no memory of her previous lives.
Okay, so this one’s a bit shorter. Spanning four seasons of ten episodes that sit at ten minutes each, Infinity Train is a pretty quick watch … which is all the more reason you should give it a try. When teenage Tulip runs away from her Oshkosh
Time traveling lesbians?! Sign me up! One Last Stop follows 23-year-old August as she tries to make life work in New York City, determined to be forever alone. Who needs friends or a love life? However, just as her funky new roommates are worming their way into her heart, she’s on her commute to her waitressing gig and sees Jane. Jane is charming, attractive, and punk rock, and she quickly captures August’s attention. Realizing she has the biggest crush on Jane, August tries to get closer but realizes that Jane isn’t just any old commuter. She’s somehow stuck on this train and has been since the ’70s. Will August figure out this mystery and save Jane from an eternity of the New York railway system?
After enduring a painful divorce and resultant financial woes, Dahlia Woodson signs up for Chef’s Special, a reality-TV cooking show along the lines of Top Chef. Unfortunately, her dreams of reality-TV stardom and delivering a faceful of FOMO to her ex goes out the window when her natural clumsiness kicks in on camera: she trips and falls spectacularly on her face, launching her fish tacos and her dignity into the wind. 
If you have ever wanted to travel but either couldn’t afford it or wanted to learn more information about traveling, then this is the podcast for you! The Thoughtful Travel Podcast is a show hosted by Amanda Kendle, who is a blogger and social media consultant. In this podcast, Amanda interviews different travel lovers who discuss all the different aspects that come with traveling, from learning a new language to navigating politics in different countries. Each episode is fascinating as you hear people’s traveling stories as a lot of them are different from the average tourist story. Although the episodes are short, averaging 30 minutes each, they are extremely informative. So far, my favorite episode is “Languages and Accents,” episode 261. In this one, Amanda interviews people about learning new languages and developing different accents. One woman had traveled to quite a few places since she was born, and I was absolutely baffled by the many places she had been to since a young age. My only complaint is that sometimes the sound quality from the interviewees is poor, making it difficult to understand them, but that doesn’t take away from my enjoyment of the podcast as I am still engaged and learning about the travel experience.
Teen Beach Movie was released in 2013 as a Disney Chanel Original and is currently not rated, though I feel a PG rating would have been fine. This film follows a young surfer, McKenzie, a.k.a. Mack, who gets lost at sea while out surfing during a huge storm and washes up in a strange new place. This place is filled with groovy people, rad retro ’60’s style, and one more thing … lots and lots of singing. In fact, there’s even a whole song dedicated to Mack being sick of singing titled “I Can’t Stop Singing.” After being transported to a whole new world while she’s out in a storm surfing, Mack has to try to figure out a way home once she realizes she’s stranded inside an actual movie, Wet Side Story (not a typo), all while being faced with a new love interest, Brady. This movie is based on and follows the plot of a classic film, West Side Story, with rival gangs (Surfers vs. Bikers), star-crossed lovers, and of course an extreme amount of singing. Teen Beach Movie is a fun, reinvented twist for the generation it was designed for. I would say it did it’s job of being an entertaining yet somehow almost brand-new story in its own way. The movie was an all-around success and became a hit amongst the kids. I give this film 7/10 stars simply because the singing gets to be a bit much.
Teen Beach Movie 2, directed by Jeffery Hornaday and distributed by Disney, is the sequel to the film Teen Beach Movie. In Teen Beach Movie 2, the story continues with our main characters Mac and Brady, who are enjoying the rest of their summer, but something has been bothering them and that is: what will their relationship look like once school has started? Since the two of them started dating each other that summer, they don’t know how school will affect them. They promise to stay a team and navigate school together. Yet things don’t go as planned as they start drifting apart the minute they return back to their old routine. Yet there’s no time to focus on that anymore because low and behold, Lela and Tanner are at their school! Lela and Tanner are the main characters from Brady’s favorite movie Wet Side Story, into which Mac and Brady had been magically transported in the first Teen Beach Movie. The two had followed Mac and Brady back to the real world. It is now up to Brady and Mac to help Tanner and Lela return back to their movie before it disappears because without our leads, there is no movie! Will they make it in time, and will Mac and Brady’s relationship ever be the same? Personally, I think this movie is cute and very enjoyable. Although it is not as good as the first movie, it is still one of those films that you can kick back, relax, and enjoy. Even though the film takes place during the school year, you still get that sun-loving feeling from it, making it all the more enjoyable.
I’ve always been a fan of making playlists. When I press “create playlist” on Spotify, it creates “New Playlist #226”. Now, most of them are garbage, but some of them actually turned out. I started making this one in particular on my break while working one morning over the weekend. The weather was just getting nice out, and the songs “Stay With Me” and “El Muchacho De Los Ojos Tristes” (the two most popular tracks) rattled around my brain. I spent the entire 30-minute break scouring for even remotely close songs, and 
BONUS OFFER: Act soon and get the sister playlist, 
The Chromatics were an electronic, synth-pop band from Portland, Oregon that influenced many of the indie, alternative, and dream-pop genres from the early 2000s to their disbandment in 2021. 
The best part of the classic “Sorry!” series is the game mechanics of ruthlessly offing your friends. Why not just lean into the theme more and make it more dramatic by having giant plastic pieces? “Giant Sorry!” offers all that and more—just imagine it: “Sorry Mom, looks like I’m sending you back home.” *Punts the pawn across the lawn*
Lawn Darts, a.k.a. Jarts (Not jean darts, silly. The “J” stands for “javelin darts” since you throw ’em like one.) is a fun yet very dangerous (and I think even illegal in some places) game meant to be played by two players. The premise of the game is to throw huge 12-inch metal-tipped darts at the ground in a plastic ring in an attempt to win the most points. This game reportedly caused many injuries and accidents, but is still known as a fun outdoor game. There are safety bans on the original game in Canada and parts of the US, so if you get the chance to play with these bad boys someday, tell grandma to stand back, and make sure not to impale your little brother in front of everyone at the family cookout. The official report is here so you can’t say we didn’t give you a 
All systems are online, Captain. Homeworld 3 is the continuation of the renowned Homeworld series that sees you leading an expedition across the galaxy in your mothership. In the first game, you discover an ancient vessel buried underneath the sands of your dying, desert world. You travel across the galaxy, collecting resources, developing new vessels, and fighting astounding fleet battles that risk the very survival of your species. The second game followed with the same success, and here is hoping for the third to continue the game-defining space simulator. It is set to release in the first half of 2023, so keep a close eye on it! Now, all power to engines, Captain. We have a galaxy to explore. Coming to Steam.
The Demons are back; has anyone seen my claymore? After nearly a decade since the last major release (we will not mention the mobile one), the Diablo series is making its return this summer. Diablo has always been about stomping demons, exploring war-torn dungeons, and collecting that glittering loot. There is already a lot of promise with the open beta that was released a few weeks ago. For those unfamiliar, Diablo is an RPG-style, hack-and-slash game where you march around the world as demon hunters slaying demons. From a raging barbarian to a terrifying warlock, to even a creepy witchdoctor, the player characters in Diablo allow for a variety of playstyles to account for how people game. Look forward to this release if you’ve been itching to kick some Demon butt. Coming to PS4, PS5, XBox One, XBox Series X/S, and PC/Steam.
For fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia writer/actor Charlie Day, Fool’s Paradise brings us his directorial debut. The core premise is “a down-on-his-luck publicist gets his lucky break when he discovers a mute man recently released from a mental-health facility looks just like a method actor who refuses to leave his trailer.” It seems like just dumb, fun comedy, which is something that has felt like it’s been missing from Hollywood lately. I don’t remember the last time I sat down in theaters to watch just a comedy like this. As a Sunny fan myself, I am a little biased towards Day, but still, Fool’s Paradise seems like it has some promise to it, and I can’t wait.
The much-anticipated sequel to 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse finally arrives in theaters on June 2nd, this time with an even bigger cast of characters including Spider-Woman (voiced by Issa Rae), Spider-Punk (voiced by Daniel Kaluuya), and Spider-Man 2099 (voiced by Oscar Isaac) and featuring the return of Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, and Peter B. Parker from the first film. Clocking in at 2 hours and 16 minutes, Across the Spider-Verse will be the longest-ever animated film from a major Hollywood studio. If you’re a fan of superheroes or just enjoy good animation, Across the Spider-Verse is one to keep an eye out for.
When Sissel wakes up with no memory next to a body that is presumably his, he has only the advice of a possessed lamp to guide him toward recovering himself and protecting those he may eventually come to love. Oh, and he only has one night to do it before his spirit ascends to the afterlife forever. Written by the creator of the popular Ace Attorney series, Ghost Trick flopped upon its Western release in 2012. Hopefully with this remake for the Switch, Ghost Trick can finally make it into more hands and receive the attention it deserves. The animations are butter-smooth, the soundtrack bops, the plot twists never fail to amaze, and the whole game drips with heart. I’m telling you, if you don’t pick up Ghost Trick, you’re missing out on an all-time great.
I’m a huge Indiana Jones fan, though that’s based solely on the first and third movies, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, respectively. The second movie has an offensive colonialist plot and a shrieking love-interest who set my teeth on edge (though a then-adolescent Ke Huy Quan of Everything Everywhere All at Once fame rises above a stereotypical role with a charming performance as Short-Round). And the fourth was apparently one in a series of (screenwriter, in this case) George Lucas’s later-in-life attempts to torpedo his film legacy with wooden writing, a head-scratchingly labyrinthine plot, and a storyline that did the first film’s feminist icon Marion Ravenwood very, very wrong. But one and three are swashbuckling perfection, as our titular archaeologist hero goes off on a globe-trotting adventures seeking mystical treasures, punching Nazis, and delighting audiences through every repeat watch. Director Steven Spielberg has kept the plot details of Dial of Destiny largely under wraps, so I feel a little like Charlie Brown running at Lucy’s football, due to the spectacular letdown that was Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (film four). But like I’ve long said, I’d watch a 105-year-old Harrison Ford if he made Indiana Jones and the Bedpan of Destruction, so here I go.
This thrilling monster flick centers around the crew of the Demeter, a Russian shipping vessel, as they journey from Carpathia to London with twenty-four unmarked crates. Little did they know, something evil lurks in those crates, and has been brought onto the ship with them. Stuck out at sea with a horrible creature, most likely some type of vampire, the crew must plan by day and fight by night. The Last Voyage of the Demeter is set to release in theaters August 11. It’s a perfect way to wrap up summer and jump into the fall spookies!
This paranormal documentary from production company Planet Weird features the chilling tale of a strange statuette with nails in its eyes and a noose around its neck. The piece was found in the Catskill mountains of southeast New York by two hikers, who then had intense paranormal experiences with it. At a loss with what to do, the hikers sent it to paranormal investigators and occult specialists, Greg and Dana Newkirk. The Newkirks then did various psychic and paranormal experiments with the statuette, having many weird experiences of their own. After progressively more intense paranormal phenomena occur, the Newkirks decide they need to figure out what to do with the cursed figure; thus, their journey begins. The Newkirks are some of my favorite paranormal investigators out there, and I’m amped for this new content from them! The Unbinding is due to release sometime this summer, though the exact date is still under wraps. Follow the Newkirks on social media to get a heads up about the release!