April 1, 2025
The Best Dungeons & Dragons Character Build
Are you interested in coming to the table and being the strongest player? Do you want to smite your enemies to smithereens, roll high in every single stat, and end combat in one turn? Well, have I got the build for you! This amazing character build will be at level 1, since we all know that level 1 is the best and highest level. If you follow these simple steps, you’ll have the most amazing, most powerful D&D character ever!
First, you’ll want to pick your class; there are a lot of great classes in D&D, but in this case, we’ll want the tankiest class possible for the purposes of our build. We’ll pick the class with the best health ever: wizard! As a wizard, you’ll take hits like they’re nothing!
Now that you’re a wizard, you’ll want to pick some special things up. You might be asked to pick some skill proficiencies for being a wizard; the options are things like arcana, investigation, etc. To be honest, none of those are good enough. Just skip that part and say that you have no proficiencies; they do more harm than good anyways. The exciting part is picking out your spells! Spells are an integral part of wizard gameplay, so follow this list for the best spells to pick!
Cantrips:
-
-
- True Strike: This amazing cantrip is the best cantrip in the entire game; you HAVE to take this cantrip!
- Prestidigitation: This cantrip can literally do anything you want. Take this spell and tell your DM that you want to make the entire enemy camp explode in flames; it will work 10/10 guarantee!
- Friends: Wow, this cantrip is amazing. A whole minute of advantage of charisma checks is unbelievable. Sure, the person you cast the spell on will get angry after that one minute, and it’s prone to frequent failure, but who cares! That ENTIRE minute is so valuable!
-
Spells:
-
-
- Skywrite: This spell allows you to write up to 10 words in the sky! The best part of this spell is that if there is even a small gust of wind in the air, the writing goes away!
- Gift of Alacrity: Make sure to always use this spell AFTER initiative rolls.
- Distort Value: Use this spell to make your items always appear less valuable! Say goodbye to fashion!
- Tenser’s Floating Disk: Use this spell so that your teammates don’t have to walk to places! Unfortunately, the disk only moves if you move, so you’ll have to do all the walking while your friends get to sit or stand on the disk for free transportation.
-
With all these spells, I’m sure you’ll see how amazing it is to be a wizard; you’ll surely put fear in the hearts of all enemies! Or not! This character build is a complete joke; don’t follow any of my terrible advice! April Fools!
“DoodleBob” is already made out to be an antagonist who terrorizes SpongeBob with a magic pencil. However, imagine if he came back to Bikini Bottom as a sadistic killer via a “magic” Etch-A-Sketch found and used by Patrick in an attempt to bring SpongeBob back after a heated argument seemingly ends their friendship. Once back in the world of Bikini Bottom, DoodleBob quickly resorts to his old ways and makes it his life’s mission to get revenge on SpongeBob and Patrick for defeating him the first time. To enact his plan effectively, DoodleBob would begin stalking the pair, then using the original magic pencil, he’d draw figures similar to himself and instruct them to kidnap SpongeBob and Patrick and bring them back to a blank, white room designed by DoodleBob. Once that was complete, DoodleBob would greet them over an intercom system and inform them of their predicament, saying how this is revenge for defeating him. Following this, the room would transform into a series of sadistic games based on their greatest fears that the two would need to navigate on their own. However, with each completed level, the games would become more intense and last until both SpongeBob and Patrick were dead.
The “Hash-Slinging Slasher” is another character who appears as an antagonist in SpongeBob SquarePants. Picture a scenario where he comes back to the Krusty Krab as a killer hell-bent on revenge against everyone there for denying him a job. To carry out his plan effectively, the “Hash-Slinging Slasher” would show up to the restaurant around midnight on his “ghostly” bus. He’d then burst through the doors before going on a stabbing spree with a sharpened version of his spatula, effectively killing all employees and customers inside. Following these murders, the “Hash-Slinging Slasher” would calmly exit the restaurant and call for his “ghostly” bus before fleeing the scene and leaving a bloodied Krusty Krab restaurant in his wake.
Missed the chance to get into this year’s Northern Lights? We’ve extended our deadline!
In July of 2024, Professor Rebecca Nesvet published James Malcolm Rymer, Penny Fiction, and the Family, which explores how Rymer’s stories reflected and shaped ideas about what family life meant during the Victorian period. James Malcolm Rymer authored short stories that produced characters such as Sweeney Todd and Varney the Vampyre. Although referred to as “penny bloods” and “dreadfuls” due to their graphic nature, these stories, Dr. Nesvet’s text argues, were written to reflect the working class of Britain and to advocate for patriarchal family values in response to the changes in British society. Dr. Nesvet examines these works through multiple lenses, revealing the connection between Victorian penny fiction’s sensational themes and its underlying focus on family values.
We was first published in 1924. The author, Eugene Zamiatin, was a Russian citizen during the Russian Revolution. While he supported the equality aimed for in the Bolshevik Revolution and worked towards its realization, he disagreed with the censorship imposed on writers after the new government was in place. He requested permission to leave Russia so that he could write without censorship. But outside of Russia, he lost touch with his homeland and, with it, his primary source of inspiration. Because of this, We is his only major work. Some critics thought its portrayal of a technologically advanced Russia was too much of a stretch, considering how technologically unadvanced Russia was when the book was published. We has gained traction over the years and helped to inspire 1984 by George Orwell.We is generally considered a utopian novel, as it depicts a perfectly regulated society that has eliminated virtually all suffering. Citizens, known as numbers instead of people, are equal; there is no poverty or racism. Even jealousy has been eliminated — marriage and romantic relationships don’t exist, and sex is regulated by the government. But for me, because the society depicted in We eliminates so many things that make life good, it cannot be anything other than a dystopian novel. There are no families, no privacy, no proper literature or music or access to nature. Even the very ability to imagine comes under threat.
Centuries after the collapse of Earth, human survivors live in an artificial paradise called Eden. To preserve what little resources they have and to keep humanity alive, the government creates a law allowing each family in Eden to have only one child. But what happens in a hidden case of twins?
The Princess and the Goblin (1991) is my forever favorite animated film from childhood. In all honesty, I always thought this would be a movie I’d gatekeep ‘til the day I die. I should’ve known I wouldn’t hold true to that, considering I never shut up about the film and that I own a back-up VHS for my original VHS copy of this movie … if that says anything. It has a pretty princess named Irene (Sally Ann Marsh), her love interest Curdie (Peter Murray) — who’s the son of a miner — a literal scaredy cat named Turnip, and goblins who wish to kill the “sun-people” (humans). What more could one ask for?
“So, he left the path for a shortcut across a field and the moon went with him.” With words so magically written, I had no other choice but to sit down and read the book and watch the movie from which they came.