April 5, 2021
Welcome to the Trash Vortex, the entertainment black holes that never fail to suck you in and won’t let go until the trashy, so-bad-it’s-good end.
Trashy Movies Based on Young-Adult Novels
I’m sure everyone has uttered the words, “The book was better,” after watching a movie adaption, but sometimes both are just equally bad. Here are the Driftwood staff’s picks for movies based on books that are trashy all around.
The Kissing Booth: Elle and Lee are best friends in eleventh grade at a prestigious school in, of course, Los Angeles. They have been friends since birth as their mothers were best friends as well, and their friendship is based around a running list of rules. Elle has a crush on Lee’s older brother, Noah Flynn, and after the two share a kiss during a kissing booth, set up by Elle and Lee’s Dance Team, the two run around in a passionate and secret relationship. When Lee discovers their affair, he is enraged that Elle would betray one of their rules, “Rule #9: Relatives of your best friends are off-limits,” and claims he can no longer be friends with Elle or associate with his brother. Elle must decide whether she should save her relationship with Noah or Lee.
The Kissing Booth was a novel by Beth Reekles on the website Wattpad, which I mentioned in my previous Trash Vortex article, and it was published officially by Penguin Random House in 2012. The movie and its dialogue sound as if the script was the printed out copy of the Wattpad novel, mixed with phrases a 47-year-old man thinks are popular among Generation Z (baller, lady-bump, a clique called the “OMG Girls” who are as bad as they sound, etc.). The actors hired look far too old to be playing 15-18-year-olds, and their performances are average at best. The drama and cliches are packed to the absolute max in this movie, which makes it nearly unbearable to watch. Noah Flynn is known for being aggressive within the school, yelling and swinging punches at the slightest rise in his temper, yet Elle follows after every single one of his explosions. This movie doesn’t really advertise the best ideals for high schoolers, yet the over-the-top acting and disconnected dialogue makes you want to keep watching, which is why both the book and movie adaptions fit so perfectly in the Trash Vortex. Available on Netflix.
—Kira Doman, Entertainment Editor
Whip It: Bliss Cavendar’s mom dreams of her daughter following in her footsteps and becoming a beauty pageant queen. Bliss dreams of something else entirely: though she’s not sure what, she knows prancing around in gowns and bikinis before a panel of judges isn’t it. Then, a chance meeting with three members of the Hurl Scouts, a local roller derby team, leads her to sneak out of her parents’ house to attend one of their bouts. Even though the Hurl Scouts unceremoniously lose to the Holy Rollers, she’s hooked.
Going behind her mother’s back, Bliss tries out for the Scouts and makes it. She’s immediately christened “Babe Ruthless,” the team’s alternate “jammer,” whose job it is to score points by lapping members of the opposing team on the raised circular track. The rest of Whip It involves her realizing her talent for skating, romancing a deep-and-misunderstood guitar player, and fending off the heavy-handed intimidation attempts of the Holy Roller team members. Meanwhile, the Scouts seek to pull themselves out of the bottom of the local derby standings and win their first championship. Will Bliss get a chance to prove herself on the track? Is her new boyfriend too good to be true? And can her team beat the annoyingly smug Holy Rollers to win it all—before her mom finds out what she’s been doing and pulls her away from roller derby for good?
I haven’t read the book that Whip It is based on—Derby Girl by Shauna Cross—but the film is ridiculous, of course, and also fun and empowering. Whip It is directed by Drew Barrymore and stars Elliot Page (then as Ellen Page). Available on Starz and to rent on other streaming services.
—Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, Driftwood Advisor
Monte Carlo: Monte Carlo was one of my favorite movies when I was young—I mean, what little girl wouldn’t dream about going on an exotic European vacation, falling in love with a cute boy, and getting to live like a princess for a few days? What I didn’t know back then was that this 2011 Disney-esque young adult film is based on a book called Headhunters, written by famous director/author Jules Bass a decade earlier. This movie’s plot is so unrealistic, and it’s full of an abundance of clichés and eyeroll-inducing moments, but that didn’t stop me from re-watching it (for the hundredth time) last week. Monte Carlo is so bad that it’s good—perfect for the Trash Vortex!
Grace Bennett, a recent high school graduate from small-town Texas, has been saving up for years to earn a trip to Paris with her best friend, Emma. Joining them begrudgingly at the behest of Grace’s worried parents is her older stepsister, Meg. After a disastrous first few days in the City of Lights, the girls’ luck suddenly turns around. Grace is mistaken for a spoiled British heiress named Cordelia Winthrop-Scott and, deciding to go along with the ruse, the trio finds themselves being whisked away on a luxury vacation to Monte Carlo. It’s all fun and games at first, as they enjoy the opulence of their all-expenses-paid trip. But things get tricky when the girls’ guilt about lying starts setting in, when real romantic feelings for their foreign suitors develop, and worst of all, when Cordelia discovers their scheme…. Starring Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, and Katie Cassidy, along with their accurately dubbed “ding dang delicious” love interests—Luke Bracey, Pierre Boulanger, and the late Cory Monteith—Monte Carlo is the perfect fun, silly, guilty-pleasure book-turned-movie! Available to rent on Amazon and other streaming services.
—Mallory Allen
As the Sims say in Simlish, Sul Sul! Sims 4, the fourth major game in the Sims franchise, is an immersive simulation game that allows you to create your “sim” (character) and live out their best (or worst) life. Find their true love, adopt a pet, go on vacation to a beautiful resort world, and more while in “live” mode. Or, if you want to take a break from that, you can build your own houses, mansions, community lots, or anything else your heart desires in “build” mode. With a multitude of expansion packs that you can choose from to spice up your game play, plenty of neighborhoods and secret lots to explore, stunning graphics that submerge you for perhaps hours on end, and a nostalgia value for someone who has played the previous Sims games, this game definitely earns the “All-Around Winner” verdict this week. Available from Maxis on Origin, as well as PS4, Xbox One, and other platforms. 
Mini Ninjas is an action-adventure game released in 2010. Set on Ninja Mountain, the game has you play as Hiro, a young ninja forced to leave his dojo to save his ninja friends from the evil samurai Ashida. As you find your friends along the way, your traveling party and skillset expands more. This game focuses on intense action and lets the player learn new moves and ninja magic as the game progresses, making it a game you won’t want to quit playing. The imagery of the different worlds throughout the game is beautiful, and as many times as I’ve played this game, I’ve always discovered something new. Mini Ninjas is pure fun with lots of replayability, which earns it the “Honorable Mention” verdict this week! Available from IO Interactive on Steam for Windows, as well as Xbox 360, and Playstation 3, and other platforms.
Dysfunctional home lives and chance foster care placements brought Kentucky teens Noah, Isaiah, and Beth together; they’ve forged a bond so tight that they’ve become family. On the outside, the members of this trio are tough, independent, battle-tested teenagers…yet, what they hide from the rest of the world is how broken they really are—haunted by heartbreaking and dangerous demons, both past and present. These YA romance books by Katie McGarry have been some of my all-time favorites for many years! If they sound like they’re up your alley, you can read them either in order as a series or as standalones.
Ten years ago, Laurel’s golden child, Ellie, mysteriously disappeared without a trace. The police came to the conclusion that Ellie simply ran away, but Laurel thought differently—and she still does even a decade later. When Laurel starts dating the charming Floyd, she thinks she might be able to finally move on from her daughter’s disappearance. But then she meets Floyd’s daughter, Polly, who looks startling like her precious Ellie, and Laurel wonders if there is more to Ellie’s disappearance to uncover. I’ve reread this book several times, and it remains one of my favorites still. Lisa Jewell writes the “disappearance-with-a-twist” trope well, without being cliché or too predictable. One of the things I love best about this book is that it’s clear what happened to Ellie, but the circumstances surrounding her disappearance are not. If you’re a fan of Gone Girl, I can’t recommend this book enough!
One of my all-time favorite albums is Lorde’s 2017 album, Melodrama. Despite this album being almost four years old, and since we’re still waiting on Lorde to release new music, I continuously find myself returning to Melodrama for its intricate rhythms and unique songwriting. Lorde proves that truly good music can withstand time. On “Homemade Dynamite,” Lorde uses an explosive metaphor to describe meeting someone for the first time. The track “Supercut” feels like something straight out of a teen coming-of-age movie. This album only produced one single, “Green Light,” but I’d encourage new listeners to give the whole album a try and see how talented Lorde is as a songwriter.
Heavy Weather by Weather Report is a legendary album in the jazz genre. It is a staple for any jazz listener and for good reason. The artists that make up Weather Report felt the need to change up what jazz can sound like, using older jazz techniques as well as new electronics of the time to create a sound no one had heard before. Every tune is jam worthy, yet a marvel to listen to as you discover a new sound every time you listen.
Ever wondered what it’d be like to battle against monstrously-sized, human-eating Titans while living in a city encased in ginormous walls? Well, if you have or haven’t, Attack on Titan offers action-packed, heart-pounding sequences of just that, interspersed with charismatic characters, drama that is large enough to surmount the Titans themselves, and a mystery of how the Titans came to be in the first place, the latter of which is somehow linked to the main protagonist, Eren Jaeger’s family history. Amusing moments with the lovable characters help take the edge off of the frightening Titan attacks, and a gripping plot will have you wanting to watch more, giving this anime the “Fright Night” verdict for this week. Available on Funimation and other streaming platforms.
Most have heard of, if not read, the popular detective novels about Sherlock Holmes and faithful companion John Watson by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Well, this anime is about getting to see the other side of those stories, with the protagonist being the elusive, dashing, and cunning William James Moriarty—Sherlock’s arch-nemesis—and William’s brothers Albert and Louis. Moriarty the Patriot follows the lives of these three brothers and their group of companions as they bring about retribution for crimes against working-class people. With crafty characters, interesting crimes,and a compelling plot that takes a look at class differences in the1800s, this anime gets the “All-Around Winner” verdict this week. Available on Funimation and other streaming platforms.
Now that we’ve covered a little bit of how you can tone your upper-body muscles, it’s time to make a rotation and focus on your lower-body muscles. Your legs and thighs also need attention; without them, you wouldn’t be able to do half of the things you’d do throughout your day; since they’re the core support of your entire body.
It always takes a while to get back into the grind after coming back from the relaxation time that is Spring Break. And with coming back comes the stress of continuing homework and preparations for upcoming finals. We compiled some things that should help you out as you get back into the groove.
See the images included here for some ideas of things to include and some basic layouts if you wish to give this a try. And I shall also give you your first compliment on the second image!
For something that’s supposed to calm you and leave you feeling relaxed, meditation can be kind of taxing sometimes. Soon you’ll realize that you’ve given up on meditating and have put on another episode of your favorite TV show. Meditation is supposed to help reduce stress, control anxiety, generate kindness, and improve sleep. So, how do you finally buckle down and do it? There is a simple solution: apps. Meditation apps are a great complement to a mindfulness practice as they help you meditate anytime, anywhere, putting the power of mindfulness meditation in the palm of your hand.
Sometimes, we just need to sit down and enter into some mindfulness. Mindfulness is a practice that came out of Buddhism but has now entered the mainstream. It’s when you focus on what you are sensing and feeling. According to the American Psychological Association, the benefits of mindfulness include stress reduction, a boost to memory and focus, and more.
Sometimes you don’t really feel like getting anything too extravagant to eat, just a quick lunch, or a small meal before an event. Pubs are a great place to find a speedy meal like a burger, some soup, a sandwich, or a variety of appetizers, and if you’re over the age of 21, a great place to have a drink and something to eat with your friends. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many pubs and restaurants have switched to delivery and take-out, but those listed below are all open for dine-in and take-out.
