Month: March 2024

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Happy birthday, Aries! This month, consider your boundaries and priorities before seeking a balance in partnerships. Determine what you’re prepared to offer and negotiate on. Identify your non-negotiables and where you can be flexible. Despite any discomfort with compromising, contemplate the possibility of doing so this month.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Don’t allow the agendas of others to deter you from chasing your goals. Keep your focus on your dreams because they belong uniquely to you. Take full responsibility for them and stay unwavering and dedicated to achieving what you desire.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Remember to prioritize your friends; they’ve supported you in the past, so make sure to regularly check in on them. Listen to their worries with understanding and reciprocate with your support. These relationships will be your pillars during challenging times.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
In the upcoming month, you might feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Allocate some time for reflection and assess your tasks to prevent overwhelming yourself. Remember, maintaining equilibrium is just as crucial as accomplishing everything on your plate.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
After your tireless efforts, it’s time to grant yourself a well-deserved break. Dedicate a weekend to disconnecting and replenishing your energy—it’s vital for rejuvenation. This month is all about focusing on recuperating and recharging, ensuring you’ll be back at full throttle soon.

Virgo (August 23 – September 23)
You may feel a pull towards self-reflection and personal development this month. Trust your intuition and embrace opportunities for growth, both professionally and personally. Stay open to the journey ahead, as it holds the potential for significant progress and insight.

Libra (September 23 – October 21)
Despite your usual avoidance of confrontations, you might feel a strong urge to express your emotions this month. Exercise caution before fully expressing yourself, as your words carry consequences.

Scorpio (October 22 – November 20)
Be attentive to others’ needs and express yourself with empathy and understanding. Opting for patience rather than being harsh in your interactions can significantly improve your relationships.

Sagittarius (November 22– December 21)
Prioritize your relationships by dedicating time to them and consider exploring a new shared interest or hobby together. This can create opportunities for new experiences and a chance to create a deeper bond.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
In the weeks to come, channel your energies into your home life and family responsibilities. While you may prefer to work, important household obligations demand your attention.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Every story has two sides, with the truth lying somewhere in the middle. Don’t let your emotions obscure the complexity of any situation; multiple factors are often at play. Remember, things are rarely black and white.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
In the upcoming weeks, expect to feel confident and empowered, inspiring you to step out of your comfort zone. Consider embracing something that once seemed daunting—it may not appear as frightening to you now.

Human civilization has been around for over 8,000 years! Within that time, a lot of things have happened. There is not a single day that goes by that is not the anniversary of some event throughout human history. Maybe it’s the end of a war or the publishing of an important book or even the birth of a celebrity. No matter the day, there is always something, so without further ado, here is …

Not This Week in History

The current week we are on seemed a bit boring, so I took it upon myself to pick random dates for this edition of the Driftwood.

June 9
● 1534: French navigator Jacques Cartier sails the St. Lawrence River
● 1856: Handcart pioneers depart for Salt Lake City
● Birthdays: Johnny Depp, Natalie Portman, Michael J. Fox

July 22
● 1999: Woodstock ‘99 kicks off
● 2005: March of the Penguins debuts
● Birthdays: Selena Gomez, Willem Dafoe, Alex Trebek

August 11
● 1972: The last U.S. ground combat unit departed from South Vietnam
● 2014: Robin Williams passes away at 63
● Birthdays: Chris Hemsworth, Hulk Hogan, Viola Davis

October 13
● 1975: Charlie Rich protests John Denver’s win at the CMA Awards
● 2021: Will Shatner goes to space
● Birthdays: Sacha Baron Cohen, Caleb McLaughlin, Kate Walsh

November 15
● 1867: First stock ticker debuts
● 2001: Microsoft releases the Xbox gaming console
● Birthdays: Jeffery Star, Matthew “MatPat” Patrick, Shailene Woodley

December 2
● 1970: Environmental Protection Agency opens
● 2006: 649-day tree sit-in at the University of California-Berkeley begins
● Birthdays: Juice WRLD, Britney Spears, Charlie Puth

January 23
● 1957: Toy company Wham-O produces the first Frisbees
● 1984: Hulk Hogan beats Iron Sheik to win the first WWF title
● Birthdays: Vsauce, John Hancock, Xxxtentacion

—Payton Rhyner

April Fools’ Day

• Perhaps the biggest April Fools’ Day joke of all is that most countries celebrate the holiday, but nobody knows the actual origins of what started the traditional day of tricks. All we know for sure is that now the date of April 1st is a day to celebrate spring and sunshine after the bleakness of winter with harmless pranks.
• A widespread belief is that April Fools’ Day began in 16th-century France when they switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. This switch changed the first day of the new year to January 1st instead of the previous April 1st. Any person that was still celebrating the new year as April 1st was called a fool.
• Historians also speculate that April Fools’ Day origins are connected to the vernal equinox, when the sun is directly above the equator, making day and night the exact same length. This is considered the beginning of spring, which is when Mother Nature’s unpredictable weather makes fools of us all.
• France celebrates Poisson d’Avril, which translates to “April fish.” The most common prank includes sticking a picture of a fish to someone’s back. If you happen to find a fish on your back, someone thinks you were easily caught or gullible.
• Scotland celebrates April 1st as Huntigowk Day where people are sent on fake errands as pranks. The prankster tasks an unsuspecting person with a deceptive mission—think sending someone for “blinker fluid”—and if they do the task, they are the gowk.
• Although many countries post fake news stories to celebrate, Sweden newspapers and news outlets will traditionally post one fake story mixed with the actual news. The citizens will have to figure out which is fake and what is the real news.
• Canada, Australia, and England celebrate the day with traditional pranks with a slight twist to the rules. The prank needs to be completed by noon. If you prank someone after noon, then you are considered a fool. In England, if you successfully prank someone before noon, you are called a noodle.
• Greek tradition says that if you fool someone on April Fools’ Day, their misfortune becomes your good luck. Also, if Mother Nature provides a rain shower on April 1st, collect as much water as you can because it has healing powers.
• Saudi Arabia also celebrates April Fools’ Day with pranks, but make sure you do not post them on social media. Under the anti-cyber crime law, any prank posted with or without consent is a crime that is punishable with hefty fines and/or imprisonment.
• Many countries around the world observe some form of April Fools’ Day, but no country has made the tradition of April 1st pranks an officially recognized holiday

—Tiffany Jablonowski

Article sources available on the Driftwood blog.

Useless knowledge we dug up this week.

The Spaghetti Tree Hoax

In 1957, the BBC aired a three-minute segment on the Swiss spaghetti harvest. Yes, the spaghetti harvest. Did you think spaghetti came out of a box? Narrated by the BBC’s leading news commentator Richard Dimbleby, a trusted voice by the British public, this seemingly benign April Fools’ Day joke bamboozled an audience not yet accustomed to such an exotic delicacy. If Dimbelby said spaghetti grew on trees, then by jove, it grew on trees. The esteemed men on the television would never tell lies, after all. Why, that’s just … well, it’s just poppycock! What sort of monster would do such a thing?

Needless to say, the decision to tell lies on national television was a controversial one. The day after the Spaghetti-Tree Hoax aired, the BBC allegedly received hundreds of phone calls either debating the story’s veracity or inquiring how one might grow a spaghetti tree of their own. The official response? “Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

Oh, and if you’re curious: The cost of this charade amounted to a little over $3,000 by today’s standards—including travel to Switzerland. Really makes you wonder what else is possible with a bit of cash and a dream, huh?

—Kana Coonce, Wandering Wikipedia Editor

Videos for Better Sleep and Study Habits

In the spirit of April Fools’, this week, we have three videos that will make you laugh, ranging from dogs to cats and vines and funny baby videos!

YT Video 1: Funniest Animals 2023
Everybody loves animal videos, whether it be them talking or doing something completely random. This video is completely animal videos that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

YT Video 2: Vines That Kept Me Alive
Remember before TikTok we had Musically, and before that we had Vine? This is a compilation of Vine videos guaranteed to bring back feelings of nostalgia and fun.

YT Video 3: Best Funny Baby Videos
Babies can be either annoying, cute, or funny. This video is a compilation of babies being funny and confused, which will make you laugh.

—Kelsey Vanderpool, YouTube Editor

Influential Athlete: Russell Wilson

This edition’s influential athlete is Russell Wilson, who plays quarterback in the NFL for the Pittsburgh Steelers. In 2014, Russell and his wife Ciara created the Why Not You Foundation. This foundation is a nonprofit dedicated to fighting poverty through education, and empowering youth to have the “Why Not You?” attitude. In other words, the organization challenges youth to embrace opportunities, overcome obstacles, and make positive impacts throughout their lives. The foundation also supports equal opportunities for students, and even children’s health and food-security initiatives. Wilson works hard at extending the foundation’s support and impact by advocating for research into illnesses like pediatric cancer, making visits to various children’s hospitals across the U.S., and partnering with various organizations like the Boys’ and Girls’ Clubs of America. One of the foundation’s more recent endeavors surprised ten nonprofit organizations from Colorado and Utah with $100,000. These grants were given to help further build their work for creating healthier communities. You can donate to this charity here.

—Cheyenne Schreiner

Photo by an unknown photographer, licensed under Creative Commons CC BY-NC-ND. 

A Ridiculous Sport to Try

Why pickleball? 

I chose pickleball for this issue’s coluimn because it is a goofy sport, which I never thought about playing until the teacher brought it up in gym class my senior year. Like, what the—? What is that sport? It was kind of fun for me, but I’m also competitive and wanted to try to make it enjoyable for myself by beating my opponent. But it is just so ridiculous—like, why it is even a thing? It is literally multiple sports combined. Like, just play those sports separately! Well, let/s see what pickleball is about.

What is pickleball? 

Pickleball is a blend of tennis, ping-pong, and badminton. It’s played with a flat paddle, similar to an oversized ping-pong paddle. The ball is a lightweight, perforated plastic ball that’s slightly larger than a tennis ball (like a wiffle ball).

This ball is “dinked” (or hit) back and forth across a low net (2” lower than a tennis net), on a court that’s about a third the size of a tennis court. The gameplay is most similar to tennis, but the scoring is different—you can only win points on your serve.

Pickleball is most commonly played in doubles, and the combination of this format and a small playing area makes it an inherently social game. In fact, pickleball and its fans (a.k.a. “pickleheads”) are known for their easygoing, welcoming nature, and thriving social scene.

Learn more about pickleball at Pickleheads.com.

—Mackenzie Hebert, Sports Editor

Pay It Forward: Terrible (But Effective!) Ways to Fundraise 

Are you looking for a way to help the less fortunate in your community? These are phenomenal fundraising events that have been proven to raise money and awareness for great causes.

The Sriracha Challenge: This is an extra spicy way to raise money! The concept is simple: eat one heaping Chinese spoonful of sriracha sauce or donate to the charity of your choice. This is a social-media challenge, so all you do is nominate people on social media to either eat the sriracha, with video proof of course, or donate to the charity that you are supporting

Cow Pie Bingo: This fundraiser is simple, low cost, and may make living in the dairy state pay off literally. All that you need to do is divide a field into a grid and sell the squares. Once all the squares are sold, you put a cow in the field and let it do its business. Whoever paid for the square that the cow chose wins a usually outlandish prize, such as the cow pie bingo trophy. If you want to see this one in action, stop by Historical Days in Peshtigo, WI, in September. This celebration of the town’s past is held at Badger Campground, and one event is the cow pie bingo fundraiser because nothing says hometown pride like cow pies.

A Pet Rock Sale: This is a fantastic way to make money and clear out any rock pile you have lying around. Simply paint rocks that you have available or go collect some around your neighborhood. Then sell these works of art to benefit a great cause of your choosing. You can even go a step further and paint the cause you are fundraising for on the rocks. Not only are your customers getting an original new best friend, but they are also spreading the word of where your fundraising attempts will profit.

Crisco Challenge: This is a low-cost challenge that will be sure to have you looking your best. The challenge is to work a cup (yes a full cup) of Crisco into your hair to create the best curlicue possible, or donate to a great cause. This social-media challenge was originally based off Calvin in the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Simply put the people you nominate either pay in donations to your cause or pay the penalty of glopping their hair.

—Tiffany Jablonowski, Local Favorites Editor

The Fun of Walmart

We all know that Walmart is the place to go when wanting a steal of a deal. Yet it isn’t just a store; it is a culture in and of itself. So here are the reasons why Walmart is amazing.

Lots of stuff
If Walmart has one good thing going for it, it’s that it has almost everything. From food to makeup to medicine to its own pharmacy, it’s got a lot. And the best part is the food is generally safer to consume than the food at The Dollar Tree. It doesn’t matter that the corporation makes $173 billion dollars per year yet pays its employees so little, the store had to offer food drives to their own workers! Who can be mad when there’s all this stuff to choose from?

It is a petting zoo full of “service dogs”
You should normally never pet a service dog. They are hard at work and have a job to do. However at least 50% of all Walmart “service dogs” are not actually service dogs. No, many (not all, but many) are random dogs whose owners throw “service dog” vests on them as they want to bring their dog in the store and not get in trouble. This is because Walmart technically has a no-pet policy. However, most Walmart employees don’t get paid enough to care.

So how do you know if it’s a service dog or not? Most service dogs do not pay any attention to others. Even if a person is trying to grasp their attention, the dog will continue doing its job. However, these Walmart dogs will get excited to see other people. I have had “service dogs” jump on me, run up to me, knock over items, begin eating packaged food, and knock items down. One even came up to me, sniffed me, and indicated it wanted to play. Another Walmart dog ran up to my friend and started humping his leg. That was a very interesting day.

Tantalizing conversations
(Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault.) 

There is no better way to expand your mind than to talk to other people. This is especially true at the hotbed of culture that is Walmart. You will have some of the most eye-opening conversations, as well as some of the best quotes to hang on your wall.

One time, this woman saw that I’d gotten a pedicure with neon-green coloring. She said to me, “That’s a really pretty color.”

“Thank you!” I replied.

“Yeah, I bet it stops you from being raped.”

I did not know what to say after that.

Another time, I was with a very close friend of mine. He was from France. A Walmart customer interrupted us to ask him where he was from.

“Sur Neuilly mostly; it’s in France,” he said.

“Oh, so are you a communist?” the customer snapped.

“Sir, I don’t have time for this.” my friend replied. That was very funny.

—Jalaine Olks

Finding Community: April Events 

Marinette

• Beehive Craft: The Craft Cave is holding an adults-only jute rope beehive-making class for $20 a person (see image at right). You can make a unique piece that you can “bee” proud to showcase. Create an unforgettable experience at The Craft Cave in Marinette, WI, on April 6th at 1:00 p.m. Call 715/587-4643 to sign up.
• Chicken and Gizzards Buffet: The Moose Lodge is holding a buffet that will include chicken (both baked and deep fried), gizzards, mashed potatoes, stuffing, vegetables, gravy, rolls, salad bar, and a dessert. The feast will be held at the Marinette Moose Lodge, located at N5233 E. Nettleton Rd. for $13 a person on April 6th from 5-7 p.m.
• Sushi Rolling with Ace: Spirit House is hosting Ace, who will guide you in the process of rolling two sushi rolls using ancient techniques. You will receive a sushi mat, the supplies to make a California roll and a Jambalaya sushi roll, and roughly an hour and a half of guided instructions from Ace. On April 13, two classes are offered at Spirit House in Menominee, MI, at 3:30 p.m. or 6 p.m. for a cost of $55 per person. Message info@spirithousemi.com with what class you would like to reserve your seat. You do not have to be 21 to join.

Green Bay:

• Collectorabilia Con: Sponsored by American Antiques and Jewelry of Green Bay, this comic con is sure to be heaven for any collector of comics, graphic art, Legos, toys, action figures, Pokémon, and so much more. Cosplay your way to an exciting time at the Resch Expo in Ashwaubenon, WI, on March 30th from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tickets are $7, but kids 12 and under are free with an adult.
• Monster Jam: Monster Jam is a monster truck competition that will have your heart racing. The trucks tear up the track while competing in feats of speed and skill to prove they are the best. Make your way to the Resch Center in Green Bay on April 5-7 for multiple shows ranging in price from $35 to $100 with add-on options to meet the crew and see the trucks up close.
• Alice in Wonderland: Belonging Youth Ballet, Celebration Dance’s 9-and-up ballet company, is presenting Alice in Wonderland. This magical performance is inspired by Lewis Carroll’s books. On April 12 at 7 p.m. and April 13 at 1 p.m., come watch these inspired dancers at Celebration Church on Humboldt Road in Green Bay, WI. Tickets are $7-$9.

—Tiffany Jablonowski, Local Favorites Editor