May 13, 2022
You’ve reached the place where all the bad, but oh so satisfying, entertainment exists. Here, in the Trash Vortex, we exist to provide you with only the trashiest, most bingeworthy recommendations. It’s a dark hole you won’t escape!
Summer Movies
The time has come for sunscreen and beach days…if Wisconsin will allow them, that is. Nevertheless, there is no better way to unwind after fun-filled days than with a lazy movie. We’ve conjured up a few that don’t take themselves too seriously—they’re in the Trash Vortex for a reason, but we’re sure they’ll leave you in the happy realm of summer spirit.High School Musical 2
“What time is it?” It’s summertime at East High, that’s for sure! Troy and Gabriella are ready for long, sunny days, but college is only a year away, and they need to make a little cash. Their classmate Sharpay intends to spend the summer at her family’s country club, where she arranges for Troy to be hired. Her plans to drink tea imported from England and finally seduce Troy are rudely interrupted when Troy convinces the club manager to hire ALL of his friends—including Gabriella. The club will host a talent show at the end of the summer too, of course. While this event takes center stage of the movie, the usual summer job hiccups still take place. And these are only exacerbated by Sharpay’s ambitious goal to make Troy her talent show partner (the sabotage is real!). Will Gabriella and Troy’s relationship survive the summer? And will Troy stay true to himself? You will only find deep questions in High School Musical 2. Plus, in true High School Musical-canon fashion, the movie wraps up with a big, momentous musical number—a big bang, if you will. The acting is atrocious, but I still find the tunes catchy, making it a solid choice for an easy, trashy summer flick. Available to stream on Disney+.
—Shannon Ribich, Trash Vortex Editor
Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar (2021)
When my sister-in-law from Florida tells me I have an accent, my response is usually denial. I speak in the dulcet, accentless tones of a news anchor without the awkward pauses, thankyouverymuch. But the same cannot be said for Barb (Kristen Wiig) and Star (Annie Mumolo), the titular characters of the mid-pandemic comedy Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar. Theirs are the jawbreaking exaggerated Midwestern accents that only Hollywood can dream up—though truth be told, your mom probably has at least one friend who speaks that way.Barb and Star (or “Bahrb end Stahr”) are veteran saleswomen at Jennifer Convertibles who have never been outside of their hometown of Soft Rock, Nebraska. When they discover they’re about to lose their dream jobs with the impending closure of their beloved store, they decide to throw caution to the wind and embark on a trip to Florida. Cut to their arrival at the Vista del Mar Hotel, where they momentarily revel in their luxurious surroundings, feted by a wait staff that welcomes them with a musical number. Tragically, the hotel is full, and one look at their receipts shows that they actually booked at the Vista del Mar Motel, which they soon discover is about one step away from a rent-by-the-hour facility. Undaunted, they sneak back to the hotel to take a dip in the lovely pool they’d spotted earlier, only to be caught by the manager. However, he explains, Barb and Star are in luck: there is one room available after the family that had been occupying it abruptly “disappeared.” Ignoring the ominous undertones of that statement, Barb and Star gleefully move in. Little do they know that deep in the bowels of the Vista del Mar Hotel lurks Sharon Fisherman (also Kristin Wiig), a pale, eccentric outcast who is allergic to sunshine and is furious about it. A brilliant scientist, Sharon’s nefarious plan to seek revenge on all Florida sunbirds centers on the genetically enhanced mosquitos she’s developed. She’s planting a homing beacon smack in the center of the hotel grounds, where, once unleashed, will attract the mosquitos, which will then kill every hapless, sun-loving tourist nearby in a violently itchy murder spree. Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar is just as ridiculous as it sounds. If you loved Wiig’s Dooneese Maharelle, the Lawrence Welk singer with the giant forehead and baby hands, or her Target Lady on Saturday Night Live, you’ll probably find Barb and Star a riot. And if not, the movie is a trashy hate-watch with a group of snarky friends. As an added bonus, you can run around afterward telling everyone you just saw “Bahrb end Stahr Go tah Vihstah del Mahr,” which is awfully fun to say. (Or maybe just awful—you decide.) Available on Hulu and to rent on other streaming services.
—Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, Driftwood Advisor
Teen Beach Movie
Nothing says “trash” and “summer” more than Teen Beach Movie. High school students Brady (Ross Lynch) and McKenzie (Maia Mitchell) are somehow transported to a 1960’s musical called “Wet Side Story.” When their actions start to affect the original plot of the film, they must work together to get the movie back on track. After the starring couple of this tacky movie fall in love with protagonists Brady and McKenzie, fixing the plot seems impossible, but through song and dance (the answer to all of life’s problems), they have a chance at setting things right. This Disney Channel Original Movie (directed by Jeffrey Hornaday) also stars Grace Phipps, Garrett Clayton, and John DeLuca. This movie is equally cringey as it is satisfying as the characters try to finish what they started. If you’re looking for horrible acting with some catchy songs, this movie is the one for you. Available for streaming on Disney Plus or Google Play Movies.
—Sydney Hansen
There are plenty of games that come out nowadays that are optimistic and promising. When they hit the limelight, however, they turn out to be falsely advertised, and you end up buying a patchwork game with a big-franchise name attached to it. The game I am referring to is Fallout 76. In this game, you start underground in Vault 76. You awaken to find all the other vault dwellers gone, and you must then go out into the open land of Appalachia. Nukes have devastated the world, and you were chosen from the brightest before the country fell to help rebuild America. You leave the vault only with a few items provided to ready you for the outside world and your trusty Pip-Boy, the device that lets you use items to replenish your health, hunger, and thirst, or arm yourself with weapons if in danger. You are the future, and you must get out into it so you can restore your surroundings to a land of peace and happiness rather than war and fear.
Overheard at National Geographic is an educational podcast all about the many projects going on at National Geographic, the company behind the eponymous nature-themed magazine and TV channel. Each episode is different from the last, moving from climate change to ancient caves to lost slave ships and more. Join narrators Amy Briggs and Peter Gwin as they explore our world alongside scientists, explorers, and photographers. Each episode is a little adventure for your ears. If you love to learn about lots of unfamiliar (and interesting) topics, I highly recommend the show. Despite being based in science, this podcast tells many fundamentally human stories which you are sure to love.
Trigger Warning: Contains depictions of racism, sexism, transphobia, rape, spousal abuse, and other related themes that may be disturbing to readers.
This animated film depicts the revolution of the animals on Manor Farm, to be named Animal Farm, which falls to dictatorship. An adaptation of the George Orwell book of the same name, this is a unique animated movie because it was made during Disney’s Silver Age in the ‘50s and is as colorful as films like Cinderella and Peter Pan, yet much darker in themes and imagery. For proof animated films aren’t just for kids—*cough*Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences*cough*—you can’t ignore this one.
The long-awaited Top Gun sequel was set to be released last fall, though it quickly changed course due to COVID-related safety measures. This Memorial Day weekend, fans of the original 1986 blockbuster will have a chance to see an older Maverick (Tom Cruise) back in the pilot seat. Maverick, a Navy test pilot with over thirty years of service, is called back by the Top Gun program, a school where the best fighter-jet pilots go to hone their skill. Maverick is tasked to train a new group of graduates for a never-before-seen, specialized mission. According to the official synopsis, Maverick’s journey will require he confront ghosts of his past and face his biggest fears. It looks like Top Gun: Maverick will be an action-packed, good time—and one that may be best seen on the big screen.
From the director of Moulin Rouge! comes the quasi-musical biopic Elvis. The movie explores over two decades in the life of the legendary King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Moviegoers can expect glimpses into Elvis Presley’s (Austin Butler) childhood and a full-on ride to his superstardom rise. Critical to the biopic is the singer’s complex relationship with his manager, Colonel Tom Parker (Tom Hanks), through which Elvis’s career will be tracked. Renditions of the artist’s life have been done before, but director Baz Luhrmann hints this one will be deeper. He told Entertainment Weekly, “The great storytellers like Shakespeare, they didn’t really do biographies. They took a life, and they [used] the life as a canvas to explore a larger idea.” Elvis sounds like a promising choice for a dose of musical drama.
The release of Thor: Love and Thunder marks Thor (Chris Hemsworth) as the only MCU hero to receive a fourth standalone installment. The movie picks up in the aftermath of Avengers: Endgame. Thor’s on a journey to find peace but is soon interrupted by Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale), a vengeful galactic villain seeking the extinction of all gods. Thor needs to stop Gorr before it’s too late. He employs the help of King Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), Korg (Taika Waititi), and Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) and, together, they embark on a long quest to protect the cosmos. Some fun things to look forward to: Taika Waititi directing and Natalie Portman finally wielding Thor’s magical hammer!
Did you know that all Marinette 
UWGB EDI Consultant and Professor Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, along with EDI intern and Marinette campus 
A little-known secret around campus is that our professors were once students. Nervous, confused, and probably as hungry as we all are while sitting through lectures, here are their first experiences as professors and what tips they have to offer for students taking their courses.