The Driftwood #24: Storytellers #2

March 10, 2022

Flash Fiction: Oak

Spring is a time for fresh starts and budding life. Where does this new life come from? Well, death, of course, but that is not always a sad as it seems.Marie watched her husband’s love for her fade from his eyes as the autumn passed. He finally handed her the paperwork without a word on that November day; they were done. The love that lasted so many years had died, a fallen oak rotting from the inside out. Her heart froze into a block of ice as the snow piled higher and higher onto the forest floor. One morning a few months later, Marie found herself smiling as she prepared her garden for the summer season, a sapling sprouting out from the mushroom-covered trunk.

—Serenity Block, Flash Fiction Editor

The Driftwood #24: Storytellers #3

March 10, 2022

Writing Exercise: Evil Holiday Figures

Sinister Santa, Evil Easter Bunny, Corrupt Cupid… In this writing activity, you will write about a famous holiday character who has turned evil. Something may have ticked in the Easter Bunny’s head, making him a malevolent monster, or maybe Santa became frustrated with all the people on his naughty list and decided to take a different approach than just putting coal in your stocking. Have fun creating your evil version of a holiday figure. Below, I share my own response to this prompt. Evil SantaCreepy Santa statues2 a.m., and up on the rooftop, I hear loud banging. “Who could that be?” is on my family’s mind. My father fetches the rifle with the thought that an intruder is attempting to encroach on our house. As a paranoid redneck, he has the intention to shoot any trespassers without inquiry of their actions. “Be quiet, stay low,” he mutters to me and my mom. He exits into the frigid cold, but the instant he steps his first foot outside, he wails and thrashes. Something red jumps onto my father and crushes him flat onto the cold snow. The contour of this creature is ginormous like that of a gorilla; it chants a haunting melody of incoherent words while devouring my father’s flesh. I duck down under the dining room table and cover my ears while I try to conceal my voice. I am only six; what prowess could I possibly hold to defeat such a defiant beast? My mother is wailing on the kitchen floor holding a knife. Just then, the window next to my mother breaks loudly, shedding sharp shards of glass over the kitchen floor. I close my eyes, but I hear heavy footsteps intruding the house; each footstep sounds like a loud roar of thunder that penetrates the heart. The footsteps stop abruptly when I assume the beast sees my mother. “Oh…uh…ho ho ho ho ho,” it sings. My mother shrieks. Then it is quiet. I open my eyes to see what is happening, but no one is there. My mother is gone. I hear a click to my left; I turn my  head in fear to see the shadow of a jack-in-the-box. It begins playing a cold crooked melody for 20 seconds, then Jack pops out and sprays something in my face. I begin experiencing profound malaise and fatigue and, immediately, I pass out. As soon as I regain consciousness, I find myself in a massive flying chariot. The wind is so frigid that my face hurts. I am tied up in ropes and chains, and I see my mom in the chariot, too. She has frozen tears on her cheeks, and she is dressed entirely in white with a wedding veil. I look at my legs only to see that my legs have become shorter, and a green hat falls from my head. “Mom?” My voice has become more high-pitched like a toddler. She shushes me. The beast is holding us hostage and is taking us to an unknown location. It is at that time when I can fully see what the monster is. It is Santa Claus.

—Conner Tuthill

The Driftwood #24: Poetry Corner

March 10, 2022

The Beast

As me and my own blood were bornTo wait the Beast’s return,We happy few with no oath swornDo ponder when to learnDo we forgive the sinners’ past –Relieve them of their pain?All those who lived in glory vast?All those who died in vain?Those husks of flesh with eyes alike,Perspectives ever bent,Like us did face His coming pikeTo be ripped of consentOur thoughts at pause by darkened skyBy brewing storm of hasteAlas, I’ll stand before Him highAnd for my son encased

—Jake Puestow, Poetry Editor

The Driftwood #24: Travel Tales

March 10, 2022

Bizarre Travel Stories

In this section, Driftwood writers share the most bizarre and unusual incidents that they have encountered on vacation.People Following Me?In 2015, my family and I, along with some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, took a cruise ship vacation. On the second day of the vessel’s voyage, I decided to explore the ship. With a deck-plan map in my hand, I made my way out of my stateroom, anxious to uncover what the cruise liner had to offer. The hallways were vast, and I had the intention of “getting lost” in the ship. Happily strolling about, I suddenly noticed a small group of people behind me. They walked with boldness and speed, and they were looking directly at me, pointing and laughing. They were speaking Spanish, or perhaps Portuguese, so I did not have a clue about what they were saying. After wandering through the ship for a while, I met a dead end, and I found that they were still following me. These intrusive strangers must have come to the belief that I was stupidly lost, so they began laughing and making even more gestures, still talking in a language foriegn to me. The corridors mostly led to cabins and staterooms, so at first I thought they were just going to their rooms, but I was wrong. In frustration, I turned around, passing by them in the opposite direction. They began laughing again, looking me dead in the face, so I decided to make an escape to where there were restaurants and large crowds of people. They stopped harassing me then. At last it was over. What an uncomfortable experience!

—Conner Tuthill, Travel Editor

Elevator BluesThis story isn’t necessarily “bizarre,” but it is definitely a tale of two cultures coming together. Several years ago, I was traveling to Italy with a choir from Wisconsin. On our first morning in Florence, a group of us were waiting for the elevator, when we heard a large clank. The doors opened a scant few inches, and we peered through the gap to see an Italian man looking back at us, wide-eyed. The elevator hadn’t quite made it fully up to our floor, either, so he was about eye-level with our waists.Our choir director swooped over, arms wide, and herded us toward the stairwell, telling the man in English that we would notify the hotel staff. I quickly surmised that he spoke about as much English as we spoke Italian, since as our group thinned out, he started to wailand I mean, wail. The poor guy was terrified, and rightfully so! I ducked under the director’s arm and went back and sat down on the floor with him. Remembering that my mother had told me Spanish was close enough to Italian that she could understand it, I started talking to him in Spanish. I introduced myself and told him the elevator wouldn’t fall, that it was just stuck, and my group had gone to get help. He calmed down and remained tearfully silent, so I kept up the barrage of Spanish and phrasebook Italian, telling him where we were from and about our choir, how Florence was my favorite place we’d visited so far, and how much I hated singing “Come Again Sweet Love.” He didn’t say much back, but he nodded encouragingly and gave me his full attentionall the better to distract him from his predicament.Several minutes later, we heard another clank, and the elevator rose. The doors whooshed open, freeing my new friend. When I’d last visited them, my Honduran family had gently made fun of me for my initial American reserve compared to their more demonstrative culture, and since I’d noticed similiarities between them and the Italians I’d met thus far, I fully expected a hug and a smile. However, this lovely man was so grateful I’d stayed with him, he scooped me up, swung me around in a circle, delivered the European double-cheek kiss con gusto, and repeated “grazie” more times than I can count. I didn’t mind being moved around by this stranger in the slightestI could tell it came from a genuine rush of emotion. Soon thereafter, he went about his day, obviously glad to have survived the Elevator of Doom, and I went about mine. But he remains my most vivid memory of Florence, and it always makes me smile.

—Tracy Fernandez Rysavy, Driftwood advisor

The Driftwood #24: Real Talk #1

March 10, 2022

Celebrity Q&A: Ryan Reynolds

Ryan ReynoldsRyan Renolds is known to most as the voice (and face) behind the Marvel superhero Deadpool. An actor who made his box office debut in 2004, in Blade Trinity, Reynolds voiced the Nintendo character Pikachu in the film Detective Pikachu. He has also been in plenty of other comedy and action films. Deadpool, to this day, remains one of his most-loved roles with how he fit it so snugly.Q: How is Deadpool different from other characters you had done before?A: I don’t know, they are always different. It’s a very broad question. I honestly do not know; Deadpool is different from any other role that I have ever played.

Desde Hollywood H

Q: Did you take the Deadpool suit home?A: Of course, during the last day of shooting, I just packed the thing up and I said, “If someone needs the suit they can fucking try and get it.”

—Desde Hollywood H

Q: What was it like inside the costume?A: Picture strapping your entire body into a tight red body condom. That’s what it is.

—Desde Hollywood H

Q: Your career seemed to really come alive when you carved out a path of less traditional leading men.A: Some of the stuff that I’ve done in the past that you would categorize as maybe didn’t work were moments where I was stepping into the role of the archetypal leading-man role. It’s just not something I’ve ever been really that great at, to be totally blunt.

Q: When Disney acquired 20th Century Fox, the culture clash was often represented by drawings of Mickey Mouse and Deadpool together. Do you have any concerns that future Deadpool films will be toned down under Disney?A: I don’t, no. I don’t have any reason to be concerned based on everything I’ve heard Disney say publicly and privately.

—ABC News—Will Kosmal, Celebrity Q&A Editor

The Driftwood #24: Real Talk #2

March 10,  2022

Humanizing Our Professors: Roshelle Amundson

English/Writing Foundations Department, Marinette Campus

A little-known secret around campus is that our professors were once students. Nervous, confused, and probably as hungry as we all are while sitting through lectures, here are their first experiences as professors and what tips they have to offer for students taking their courses.

Roshelle AmundsonBelieve it or not, Professor Roshelle Amundson taught in multiple settings for about ten years, in addition to her teaching practicum, before becoming a college instructor. However, no amount of preparation calmed her nerves. She recalled feeling like an “imposter,” imperfect and afraid of losing credibility with her students for simple mistakes—a common feeling for new teachers. It wouldn’t be until she learned to be transparent and honest with her students about being imperfect that she began to truly feel she was in the right place. In fact, students were able to appreciate her more and open up about their own struggles when she did this, creating safe and encouraging environments for learning.

A helpful tip she mentioned for students is, “Don’t pay any attention to RateMyInstructor!” While it might sound silly, it’s great advice for any course. Don’t come to class with pre-determined expectations of how your instructors will perform. Make the judgement for yourself because sites like this one are often biased either to believe the instructor is really good or really bad at their job, and you’ll come to class with a faulty perspective of who they are. Understand that instructors are not out to “eat your face” because they seem a little intense. The truth is that those who have made it this far in life have a deep desire to help others understand what they’re passionate about—they want you to succeed! However, if you do ever find yourself struggling, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Voice your concerns because if you don’t speak up, they won’t know how they can do better. It’s your learning experience. Make it the best it can be.

Grace Kraniak, Profiles Editor

The Driftwood #26: Real Talk

April 13, 2022

Celebrity Q&A: Keanu Reeves

Keanu ReevesKeanu Reeves began acting in theatre productions and in a television and film before making his feature film debut in Youngblood. He would then go on to perform in his most iconic role as Neo from The Matrix and eventually John Wick, the assassin with a past, in the John Wick trillogy.Q: What did you think of The Matrix: Resurrections?A: It was really something. It was wonderful to work with Carrie-Anne again. It was wonderful. I love the love that Thomas Anderson has for Trinity. It feels really good. And to fight for, to be with—and so that was actually probably one of the highlights of doing the film.

Uproxx

Q: Do you agree it’s kind of a different Neo, right? Obviously, in the first one, Thomas Anderson is pretty confused at what’s going on, but in this one…?A: “Doubting Thomas.” He’s still doubting Thomas. It’s just an older, more experienced doubting Thomas.

—Uproxx

Q: I saw where you mentioned you were talking with a younger person, maybe it was a friend’s kid, and you were explaining the plot of The Matrix to them and they were like, “Why would your character want to know this? Who cares if it’s real or not?”A: Oh, value of reality. Yes. They didn’t care if it was real or not.

—Uproxx

Q: What is it like to play a character who is just the baddest guy around?A: There is a kind of expectation, you know? They’re calling John Wick the bogeyman, Baba Yaga. For me, there’s kind of like John Wick fighting for his life, his personal life. He’s getting beat up. He’s getting hit by a car. He’s getting thrown through a window. Action has consequence, and for me, it’s just that the guy has a strong will.

Q: How hard is it to choreograph the fight scenes?A: Specifically to John Wick and John Wick 2, there’s like John Wick school, and John Wick training. For John Wick 2, I did about three months’ training, on and off.

—Azcentral—Will Kosmal, Celebrity Q&A Editor

The Driftwood #2: Travel Tales

April 13, 2022

Spring Break Travels

Out of all emotions, our sad travels seem to be the most remembered. This travel story features travel stories of melancholy and grief.Funeral: Far AwayIt was the week of my grandfather’s passing. Arrangements were made; he was to be cremated and sent to a funeral home I forgot the name of. The funeral home was far away. I was very young and did not know exactly where it was. I was maybe four. All I know is that it took more than a couple hours. Those hours that passed by in the traveling car were filled with melancholy and frequent sighs. My mother, father, and my sister were quiet along the way. Occasionally, my father broke the silence by cracking jokes and singing songs in an attempt to cheer us up. We stopped at a gas station, where my mother took too long of a time in the bathroom. Apparently, she was sobbing in private. Upon my father’s hearing of this, he told her that she shouldn’t hide her tears. Eventually, the funeral home was unveiled in a small farm town. As mentioned before, I did not necessarily know the exact destination, but I remember the building being beige, lavished with flowers and tall windows. In the funeral home were many people, most of which I did not recognize, others recognized only slightly. I shied away, too many people crowding me. At the time, I did not fully understand what death was, so I asked my father where grandpa was. He pointed at a vase and explained to me what happened in the best way he could. I was devastated at that time. I didn’t quite know my grandfather entirely, but this funeral was quite a somber occurrence.

—Conner Tuthill, Travel Editor

The Driftwood #26: Poetry Corner

April 13, 2022

Rainbow EyesA set of eyes so weird and wonderful,So far from anything one man could dreamTo see something so grand and palpableNothing on Earth could reach its height it seemsThey say the typical, cliche colorsYou hear some brown, green, blue, some standard fairPerhaps hazel from passionate loversBut nothing made me lose a gasp of airBut hers, those eyes that are more rare than goldA stew of every color in a bowlA gift to stay with her ‘til she grows oldA window to look deep into the soulI write these words to one with eyes so freeSo she preserves the beauty she can’t see

—Jake Puestow, Poetry Editor

The Driftwood #26: Storytellers 2

April 13, 2022

Flash Fiction

Animals will always hold a special place in the hearts of humans. Here is a story dedicated to this love.MangoCarol remembered Mango when he was just a kitten. He would pounce at empty air and try to claw his way up Carol’s pants leg to get the pets he deserved. From her parents’ home to her first apartment, she had Mango through it all. Carol held Mango as she cried over being dumped as a freshman in college. He cuddled with her each night until the tears finally dried up weeks later. Mango had run into the room when Carol shouted in joy after learning she got her dream job. She lint-rolled orange fur from her pants every day before work, but never denied Mango when he begged for attention the second she arrived home at night. Carol knew that Mango’s pouncing and running days were over, however, as she watched him struggle to hop into bed night after night until eventually stopped trying all together. She cried as she put Mango in his carrier for his last car ride to the vet’s.

—Serenity Block, Flash Fiction Editor