Catastrophizing is when you start to view anything (an event or situation), as having the worse possible outcome there is, whether now or in the future. In other words, you constantly imagine worst case scenarios possible. Maybe you’re familiar with the term “making mountains out of molehills.”
The sad truth is anxiety is a natural feeling. And even sadder, people can be prone to being anxious in a near constant (I’m not necessarily saying anxiety disorders). This is obvious, of course, but anxiety is something that, thankfully, has been receiving more attention in the media, and should continue to be addressed as others continue to struggle.
What I want to get at is the anxiety us writers, such as myself, face, and what ideas to have to be able to conquer catastrophizing.
I’ll use myself as an example: by around high school was when I realized I wanted to be a writer. Before that, I wanted to be a pediatrician in Las Vegas or a professional wrestler (WWE was my thing back in the day before my new obsession became heavy metal/hard rock musicians). When I wanted to start a writing career, my teenage self was so naïve and extremely meticulous that I felt that I had to be at a certain location for research for an understanding of what I wanted to write. Otherwise I couldn’t bear to do it. Thankfully in this present, I’ve come to be more confident in worldbuilding fictional landscapes. But as of now, it has been two years since I’ve been working on my debut novel. I hoped to have got it done in six months, but for some reason or another, out of impulse, I find other reasons to not finish the novel. So far, I’ve done only six(?) chapters out of–maybe 19 or so planned–chapters, and now I am re-writing them because I don’t think the dialogue and the execution were good enough. I will admit, I am a perfectionist. I feel that not only do I need to feel satisfied with what I write, but I need to feel confident that my readers–my audience—will be entertained by the prose that I write. I hate that I nitpick what I write, but if I feel, if I know, something isn’t correlating with how I feel when I write, then I know something is not right.
But it’s cumbersome when you spend most of your time nitpicking over the little things that the progress becomes more about worrying about what works, and less about the satisfaction. All it is is just negative thoughts ruminating your mind. You don’t want that. You need the confidence. Yes, you should definitely care about your audience, but you also need to have secure thoughts and feelings about what you write. You can’t be like me; sitting on his exercise ball, staring out the window, listening to music, worrying about the what-if. That is what catastrophizing is like to me. Just worrying about worst-case scenarios that most likely won’t happen. You cannot just sit around all day thinking the “comfort zone” will keep you at ease. Let me give you some of my own advice: there is no comfort zone. The comfort zone is a concept meant to dupe you into unnecessary repetition. Part of me that suffers is that my repetitive tendencies is from Asperger syndrome and what I am guessing, is that I have undiagnosed A.D.D. or ADHD. I constantly listen to music like I’m its serf, and I end up finding reasons to not write. For example, I cannot write if both my parents are home because I have the worry that they will distract me from what I am doing, even if I lock myself in the spare bedroom (doesn’t help that my father does drink).
But enough of the sorrows, the catastrophizing, the cumbersome ability to weaken yourself into failure, has remedies. There are many ways to combat catastrophism, and boost your confidence, whether it’s for writing or even your own daily life. I know I’m not a psychologist, but I don’t like seeing others suffer for their art like I do. I have been looking and reflecting on ideas that should help any writer—anyone—conquer their anxieties.
One thing that I, myself, can give for advice is mindful meditation. I am a regular practitioner of meditation, I think the more you meditate, the calmer and more confident you feel. My recommendation is that every morning as you wake, make yourself comfortable when meditating, find a nice relaxing spot, create a mantra, and for maybe 10 or 20 minutes, breathe as you keep your mind on your mantra. I recommend you do this first thing in the morning as you wake, and about half an hour before you go to sleep. For me, meditation keeps me sedate, which gives me the confidence and focus to be able to at least complete something to a satisfactory level.
Some other solutions I’ll guide you through: my friend Philip Layne, who is a pastor, suggested that rather than rush myself into completing a whole chapter in one day, that it’s best to take small steps (I don’t like to say baby steps because I always feel that doing so instead becomes a crawl, but anyway), for example, even if you write very few paragraphs, it’s still an accomplishment. Always accept small celebrations. Understand that it doesn’t hurt to write at an easy pace. Don’t rush yourself, understand that even if you feel like it’s happening, the only thing that’s out to get you is your own self.
Organize your small-term goals. Plot out your ideas, structure them, but not too rigorously. It’s always good to be organized but find your sweet spot without falling into your pitfalls that make you feel like you’re of no value. You are necessary, we all have meaning in our life. To function as a writer, the best that I can give to you is to write down what you think will work in a notebook (I do not advise Google Docs, Microsoft Word, and so on, because I think going from one tab or one web page to another causes stress), and peer through the notebook, or whatever you are comfortable writing on, and see what progress we can make than just letting our worries linger.
Some other ideas I can provide: lately, I’ve been exercising. I have been doing minor weight lifting and running a mile on the treadmill. Exercise is good for the brain. I also could say, rather than self-motivation, it is best to provide self-compassion and limit ourselves to negative influences in order to provide ourselves the best environment, physically and mentally, to provide quality writing for our audience. I also suggest we stop worrying about the future (a dirty habit of mine) and embrace the present reality and see that we cannot control everything. Sure, we can find ways to control our future, but understand that greater powers oversee us everyday, and it’s something we cannot fight. We must accept that the present is where we are now, we can only worry so little about our future. Yes, we do want to have our future be pleasant, but we have to worry about our present to make our future look bright, if you know what I mean. I know a lot of people think journaling your problems work (I am a critic of journaling because I feel that journaling is like talking to walls and it doesn’t really help unless someone else sees it to give you advice), but I don’t want to be completely critical, and if journaling is something that makes you comfortable to unleash your negative thoughts and feelings, feel free. If anything, it gives proper reflection to whatever anxieties and stress you’re dealing with.
At the end of the day, I hope that what I’ve written hasn’t scared anyone. I just want to be able to help you as a writing student, an intern, and an aspiring writer. I want to give you and myself self-awareness and confidence to motivate ourselves as writers to feel confident. I know we all can push through our barriers and become confident in our writing.
My final words to you are: “keep going.”
Cole Murray, creatives intern.
