Okay, this story starts with a confession. Our regular humor editor was unavailable this month, so you are only getting a Top 5 list instead of the Top 10 list, and we make no guarantees it will actually be funny. We are also going for the easy laugh at others’ expense, knowing how much Green Bay Packer fans just loved those replacement referees. In their honor we contemplated a world in which our beloved Pink Flamingo was written instead by replacement editors.
5. Professional newsletter editors have PhDs in psychology. Replacement newsletter editors would have their advanced psychology education from watching episodes of Dr. Phil and their favorite “Real Housewives” franchise.
4. Sentences like “geting a job in humen developmint should simpel if you are wel-preparedd” would make the final version because replacement editors would see them as the verbal equivalents of a touchdown (or was that an interception?).
3. Finding Roger Goodell’s inbox full, students would flood the Chancellor’s Office with tweets demanding the return of the “real editors.”
2. The National Enquirer would issue a press release saying they had fired the PF replacement editors 6 months ago for poor performance, so they don’t understand why another respected publication would hire them.
And, the #1 way the newsletter would be different if it were written by replacement editors:
1. It might actually be worth reading for a change.