Author: Vince Lam Barbie

Dear Sam,

 

I’m sure you’ve heard of the challenges of college life such as tuition prices, time management, workload, and the various stressors of living on your own. What I had wished I was more prepared for was, the challenge of carrying on in your classes when going through stress from your personal life. I’ve heard it said that college is an introduction to adult life. Because of this, working through times of emotional distress in college is good practice for adult life. It is important to clarify that universities typically have a policy that allows students to take a leave of absence when in serious emotional distress such as loss of a close loved one, but what about the less significant forms of grief? Like loss of a beloved pet? Or a breakup from a romantic partner?
In my experience, stressors in this category can be particularly challenging to deal with in college, especially during one’s first year. Along the way, I’ve learned some methods to cope and prevent these stressors from affecting my academics. First off, the act of writing out a schedule for the week or the day is a practical practice that helped me a lot. I think organizing my schedule, helped me feel less disorganized. It also frees your mind to focus on one problem at a time. The biggest lesson I learned, was knowing when to ask for help. The truth is, if it’s truly a hindrance to your academics, your professors (most likely) will want to find a way to help you work around it. It’s important to remember you’re not alone when going through these things, and whether it be from tutors, professors, or advisors there’s help available to you because knowing when to ask for help is part of adulthood.

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I wish you the best,
Vince LomBarbie

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My secret for getting through semester after semester might seem silly to some. I’ve heard of many practical tactics such as testing yourself with flash cards, working hard to turn things in early, or working in study groups. However, in my experience, what I needed most to improve my outlook on school was, self-encouragement. During my freshman year especially, I felt much of my self-doubt would get in the way of me truly applying myself, and it made everyday and assignment feel harder than it actually was. I would feel so nervous just to start because I was already fearing he feedback I’d receive. Even when receiving positive feedback from professors, I told myself they merely said it to be nice. It soon became obvious to me that self-discouragement was a major flaw of mine.
So, how does one put self-encouragement into practice? I heard from a friend that, at the beginning of each semester, she chooses an encouraging word to embody. I usually keep the word I pick to myself, but she shared with me, she chose the word “confident”. Then, she explained how she wrote it anywhere she would see it everyday. This could mean writing it on sticky notes for the mirror, the door, or in your planner. Another friend told me she tries to train herself to think of her self-encouragement word every time she walks through a door frame. This way you carry it with you everywhere you walk. know this can seem a little cheesy at first, but I feel college is all about learning how to function as an independent adult, and much of that is learning how to take care of yourself. That’s why I feel self-encouragement has ahead a major impact on my academics.

Long before I enrolled in college, I had heard rumors that the professors were far stricter and less understanding than high school teachers. Teachers, relatives, and friends of my parents had all warned this to me, in the hopes of scaring me into taking more personal responsibility. The actual effect this had on me was one of fear and intimidation of the college classroom environment. I was pleasantly surprised to learn the professors in college not only are more understanding than my high school teachers, but they also seem to truly care about their students’ learning experience. I’ve had multiple professors express they care more about helping students learn rather than placing pressure on grades. 
      In my experience, this approach seems to make all the difference in academic performance, attendance, and overall participation in the classroom. Rather than feeling frozen in intimidation, it allows students to come forward with problems or questions. Not once has one of my professors denied me an extension when I have a valid excuse, given me a poor grade because they didn’t like me, or looked down on me because I didn’t know an answer – all rumors I was led to believe. Instead, I’ve been met with helpful and kind responses to all these things. Going into college, my mindset was one of hoping to simply get through it, but it soon changed to focusing on how I could grow from it. Overall, I’m grateful for this subversion of expectations and it’s made my experience here much better than I originally thought.

angry professor -Adobe Stock
helpful professor – ThoughtCo